html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: scooters, vacation, fall

Saturday, February 10, 2007

scooters, vacation, fall

When I asked for requests, some brave soul anonymously requested erotica. That reminded me! I did once write an erotic story. I was on a ten week trip to Thailand with my former best friend. We traveled apart for a couple weeks in the middle; she went to meet other friends of hers in the south. Me, I did what any traveler would do on finding herself alone, adventuresome and needy, in such a sensual, exotic county. That’s right, my friends. I visited irrigation projects.

I took a bus to an irrigation project up in the north, on the Mekong. The diversion structures were in a small town, but the bus went to a town fifteen minutes away, so I stayed there overnight. I got up good and early the next day to be on the first bus to the town with the diversion structures. I caught the bus just fine. Everything was going well until we pulled into town. Now, I have a good sense of direction and had been oriented all the way until the last three minutes of the trip, but somehow, in the turning around to get into the station, I completely lost track of which way I was facing. I got off the bus and could not figure out where the river was. Now friends, this is technical and I don’t expect you to understand it right away. But in fancy engineering school, they teach you that if you want to find a river, you walk downhill.

I put this plan into action, despite feeling that I was going the wrong way. I’d walked for fifteen minutes or so, increasingly sure that my irrigation project was behind me, when a guy on a scooter pulled up. He asked where I was going, and I said I was looking for the Mekong. The Mekong! Good! He would take me to the Mekong. He seemed harmless and potentially helpful, so I got on the scooter behind him. We kept going the wrong way. We went the wrong way until he turned onto a dirt road, then turned onto a smaller dirt road. I was liking this not at all, and tapped on his shoulder to turn back. He shook his head. I told him I wanted to go back and he kept going. So I put my feet down and fell off the back of the scooter.

I turned to walk back to the main road and he circled back for me. He said he’d take me back to town, and looked sincere, and that’s what he did. I ended up back at the bus station, still not knowing where to find the damn Mekong. I tried the other direction and a couple blocks away, three giggly women waved me into their beauty salon. I was hot and shook up and happy to sit with them and drink their water. They knew where the diversion structures were, a couple more blocks away, and walked me there.

I lucked out when we got there. A couple geotechnical engineers were visiting from Bangkok. One spoke English; he gave me a tour of their levees. I believe he was the only person in Thailand who didn’t tell me I was too pretty to be an engineer and must be a model. Fuckers. I was on my way back to the bus stop when the three giggly women appeared again. They would take me back to the neighboring town! Really, I was fine on the bus, but they would take me back.

I found myself on a scooter again, one woman driving in front, one behind me. I thought they were sitting a trifle close, but assumed that norms were different until the woman behind me put her hands on my thighs. I put her hands back. She put my hands on her thighs. I took my hands back. She put my hands on the thighs of the woman in front of me. I took them back. She put her arms around my waist, snuggling me and pushing me against the woman in front. I began to think longingly of the morning, when I only had the one kidnapper and a nice, soft dirt road to land on. Friends, I did not invite them in when we got to my hotel.

That evening after dinner I wrote down the daydream that had kept me occupied for the long bus ride the day before. There were no scooters in it, and I was the only woman involved. I’ve never shown it to anyone, but now you know it exists. And that is as close as it will ever come to the internet.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moby Dick has sat on my shelf unread for a long, long time. But I imagine that this is exactly how Ahab felt when he first saw that whale.

2:23 AM  
Blogger Jens Fiederer said...

Erotica is always nice, but I believe we need a DIFFERENT word for this particular story.

How about annoyinga?

(meaning stories ABOUT the annoying, not stories that ARE annoying)

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What does this phrase mean: "my former best friend"? Very mysterious and perplexing.

That's the untold story I'm most interested in.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

Oh hon, it is a pretty straightforward story. I haven't talked to my best friend of twelve years (five of which we lived together) since she decided to date the man I dated for seven years. He and I had been apart for about a year, after he decided not to marry me.

I was a wreck for a good long time after that. It got better when they moved away.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Dubin said...

Do you think either of the two of them secretly read your blog? If I were him/her/them, I would find it irresistible to at least stalk the blog every once in a while.

10:02 AM  
Blogger billoo said...

Gosh, this post sounded so promising in the beginning; it's ended up quite depressing.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


never look a gift post in the mouth.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Yep. I haven't seen any IP addresses that I think are theirs, but I have to assume that they read this. I don't know if they have thought to look for it, though, and fortunately, the blog still doesn't come up under my full name.

3:52 PM  
Blogger bobvis said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:40 PM  
Blogger bobvis said...

I have a weird story involving lustful Thai women too from my visit there! Unfortunately though I'm too ugly to be a model and must be an engineer.

I'd tell my story, but I've forgotten how to tell it in an entertaining way. It was a long time ago.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait, what? That's it? All that buildup, and then nothing?

Are you seriously going to get us all wound up like that, and then not describe the differences between Thai and California water technology?


6:13 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

Truth is, A4, I'm a tease like that.

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way to go Meg - build up the anticipation!

Acknowledging that you have erotica waiting to burst forth is the verbal equivalent of unbuttoning the top button of your blouse...

Show the guy a little cleavage, make eye contact then tilt your head down a little and coyly look away.

Yes - a little playful teasing will make it all the sweeter when you pull out the good stuff.


9:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, irrigation's still moisture in ditches, right?

Speaking of the sex/water connection, Megan, you missed what might have been the sexiest Megan-headline ever, in the "Forum" section of this Sunday's Bee:

"State Sen. Darrell Steinberg wades into the state's water wars"

Steinberg's apparently the new chair of Senate Natural Resources and Water. Apparently he was somewhat unwilling to take the position at first; the article describes his gradual conversion to an interest in water issues. I sense the plot for an intriguing but of erotica right there...

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoops, intriguing *bit* of erotica. Although intriguing butt of erotica is good too.

I'll bring the article to the party tomorrow night so you can paste hot lines into the valentines cards. Like, Steinberg says at one point, "I began getting excited about it [water issues]". Whew! You're gonna need to fan yourself off after reading lines like that!


4:08 PM  

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