html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: My 0-2 record

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

My 0-2 record

I have had two premonitions in my life. Both of them felt like a sonic boom or standing too close to an air raid siren; it was like having something intangible shake you all the way through. The first time was years ago in LA. I was with my sister and her boyfriend and my friend Teddy. We were walking back from a show and we dropped my sister off at their car. They were leaving for a trip to Italy the next day, so we wished them a good time. As they pulled away, I knew with absolute certainty that they were going to die on that trip and I would never see her again. It was horrible.

I told Teddy right away, who calmly made all of the obvious points. My beautiful sister was healthy and resourceful, in good company, going to a safe, lovely country, and would have a great time before she came home in two weeks. That’s what I thought too, except for knowing that I would never see her again.

The second premonition was almost a year ago. I was reading some guy’s blog when it came to me that I was going to marry him. It wasn’t like ‘he is so totally my husband and he’s going to marry me and we’ll have beautiful babies’. I just knew without a doubt that my life was going to change, because he was going to be my husband. I remember hoping that he was a nice person.

Neither premonition came true. I was disproportionately relieved when my sister came home safe and happy. Months later, I met the guy from the blog. He was certainly nice enough and I enjoyed chatting with him. But the part about our getting married didn’t come up. (My friends say I should have brought it up, in a crazy stalker way. That would have been fun, but he hadn’t done anything to deserve crazy stalker drama.)

I hope I am out of the premonition business. Knowing that they don’t come true doesn’t completely cancel out the certainty they bring. I have to say that I am happy with the outcome -- I would rather they were both wrong than both right. Losing my sister would be unbearable. Splitting the two premonitions is a dangerous game; I would rather not play at all.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

You might still marry that guy. If he's single, send him e-mails discussing what's on his blog, then start telling him how wonderful he is.

If/when you get/arrange to meet him again, the 'girl clothes' thing might not hurt, either. ;-)

10:48 AM  
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