html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Imaginary grooms don't have preferences.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Imaginary grooms don't have preferences.

I went to a wonderful wedding yesterday. The light was beautiful; the bride and groom well beloved; the favors were frisbees; the bride’s father brought his shotgun. You just don’t see that enough. After the toasts, the groom stood up to thank us for coming. He started to cry as he said how wonderful it was to have so many of the people he loved in one room.

I have always thought that must be one of the most amazing things about your wedding, so many people you love in one place. For the past few years I’ve thought the usual wedding format wastes that opportunity. I’m almost too superstitious to write about the wedding I want. But at this point there’s nothing to jinx, so I’ll tell you that if I do get to have a wedding, I am making the most of it. One evening with so many people I love around me is not nearly enough. Being too busy to visit with people is crap. I figure a wedding is the only time you have enough clout to summon everyone and I’m keeping them for the whole weekend.

I want everyone in one place and that’s pretty much all I care about. Flowers, colors, wedding party? Whatever. Games and chatting and yummy food? Absolutely. My friends and family are fun and brilliant and goofy; they would like each other. Presumably my groom’s friends are just as great, so I’ll want to spend more time with them. My secret fantasy, with the imaginary money, is to rent a bed and breakfast for the weekend and fill all the rooms with our guests. Ultimate in the mornings, picnics all the time, hanging out in the lobby, dancing at night -- I’ve got the weekend all planned. Somewhere in there, I’ll have to remember to fit in a twenty minute ceremony.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Many years ago, a friend of mine had a wedding which I thought was perfectly planned--the big parties happened Friday and Saturday night, and the actual wedding happened Sunday, at which point everyone went home. The reversal of the usual sequence meant that the high point of the whole event happened at the end, without a party running hours and hours into the night afterward.

2:19 PM  
Blogger Ananda said...

Sounds great -- but if you decide to go for it when the time comes, make sure you get the B&B WELL in advance. My wife and I got married at a little country inn and we reserved it several months in advance -- and we were the 2nd wedding that weekend!

2:29 PM  
Blogger matt said...

I was at a small wedding this past weekend, watching one of my very best friends get married, and the same thought struck me. There was a whole lot of love in that church, a whole lot of love.

7:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So where do you fit in the bachelor party? Thursday night doesn't work. And a bachelor party at the bed and breakfast also doesn't work, for reasons I'd rather not go into.

5:39 AM  
Anonymous thelonious_nick said...

I think I nearly passed out at my wedding from low blood sugar, but I'm not sure because it's all kind of hazy. I felt like Tantalus, with all this delicious food around, but everytime I actually tried to put some to my lips, some elderly relative would ask, "And what do you two plan to do now? You're moving to Washington, DC? And what are going to do there?..." ad starveum.

Far higher on the peak experiences scale was the birth of my son, about 11 months ago. The nature of the event made most people who weren't directly involved stay away, resulting in a much less crowded room, and the euphoric feelings from the experience are still with me, to some extent.

Crazy idea: Maybe you should skip the wedding and go straight to the childbirth.

7:14 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

The groom will have to make his own arrangements for the bachelor party, which I will neither hamper nor facilitate.

For the bachelorette party, I want a karaoke machine and a margarita fountain. Boys are invited too.

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Huston said...

One day is WAY too short!!! A B&B with many rooms and the whole weekend would be fabulous!!

Note: B&B's for many people...$$$$$$

Wait!!! Not finished yet. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$


12:28 PM  

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