Just the friendly ones. Don't call the ones who could still get hurt.

Back in ’94, I met this guy on a trip. We dallied briefly, but then I met the seven-year ex. I still get a twinge of bitterness when I remember that I chose the seven-year ex over the guy from the trip largely because I didn’t want a long distance relationship. Anyway, the guy from the trip recently moved to the Bay Area. I see him occasionally, stayed with him on Friday. Saturday, I met this other friend for brunch; it was just coincidence that I had once hooked up with him, too. It was also totally coincidence that after brunch I met my sister and my cousins in the city where my boyfriend before Chris lives. Man, I hadn’t seen him in years and I wanted to meet his baby boy. So we called him up, and he brought his baby over and that was the third former lover to appear that day.

Once I realized what the theme for the day was, I called Chris. I explained the theme for the day, and we agreed that we absolutely needed to hang out Saturday night, partially to catch up since he left for grad school but mostly to bring the total up to four in one day. So Chris and I get dinner and were figuring out what to do with the rest of the evening. “Hah hah hah,” said Chris. “I should call up one of my former lovers!” I laughed too, and then we paused. “Actually, let's go see Beth. I haven’t seen her in forever. What is she up to these days?” So we went over to Beth’s house.

Beth asked us about our days, and I described the sequence of coincidences that made up former-lover day. Proving that Chris never did date fools, Beth narrowed her eyes, looked back and forth between me and Chris and shouted “You’re using me!”. I was about to apologize when she said “Which former lover should I call?”

It would have been completely excellent if we had all gone to visit a former lover of Beth’s, but she couldn’t think of a local ex that she could drop in on with a crowd late on Saturday night. Now that I have the idea, though, I totally think it would be fun to spend a day like that. It should start with two friendly ex’s, and both should visit another former lover. They should all go to another former lover’s house, and the party should grow and move through as many people as possible. As long as all the action is old, I bet most the people would be of a kind and entertained by the concept. It wouldn’t surprise me either if the chain doubled back on itself at some points. It could be fun. It needs a name.