html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Just the friendly ones. Don't call the ones who could still get hurt.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Just the friendly ones. Don't call the ones who could still get hurt.

Back in ’94, I met this guy on a trip. We dallied briefly, but then I met the seven-year ex. I still get a twinge of bitterness when I remember that I chose the seven-year ex over the guy from the trip largely because I didn’t want a long distance relationship. Anyway, the guy from the trip recently moved to the Bay Area. I see him occasionally, stayed with him on Friday. Saturday, I met this other friend for brunch; it was just coincidence that I had once hooked up with him, too. It was also totally coincidence that after brunch I met my sister and my cousins in the city where my boyfriend before Chris lives. Man, I hadn’t seen him in years and I wanted to meet his baby boy. So we called him up, and he brought his baby over and that was the third former lover to appear that day.

Once I realized what the theme for the day was, I called Chris. I explained the theme for the day, and we agreed that we absolutely needed to hang out Saturday night, partially to catch up since he left for grad school but mostly to bring the total up to four in one day. So Chris and I get dinner and were figuring out what to do with the rest of the evening. “Hah hah hah,” said Chris. “I should call up one of my former lovers!” I laughed too, and then we paused. “Actually, let's go see Beth. I haven’t seen her in forever. What is she up to these days?” So we went over to Beth’s house.

Beth asked us about our days, and I described the sequence of coincidences that made up former-lover day. Proving that Chris never did date fools, Beth narrowed her eyes, looked back and forth between me and Chris and shouted “You’re using me!”. I was about to apologize when she said “Which former lover should I call?”

It would have been completely excellent if we had all gone to visit a former lover of Beth’s, but she couldn’t think of a local ex that she could drop in on with a crowd late on Saturday night. Now that I have the idea, though, I totally think it would be fun to spend a day like that. It should start with two friendly ex’s, and both should visit another former lover. They should all go to another former lover’s house, and the party should grow and move through as many people as possible. As long as all the action is old, I bet most the people would be of a kind and entertained by the concept. It wouldn’t surprise me either if the chain doubled back on itself at some points. It could be fun. It needs a name.


Blogger srchngformystry said...

my offering: the ff club. the first "f" is former, and the other "f" im sure you can guess.

i sit here trying to think of which i would call.

well, i have two, but i wouldnt want to waste time with clothes on.

im not very social with my ffs.

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Mitch said...

Possible names:
"Love Polytope"
"Find Patient Zero"

11:58 PM  
Anonymous ogged said...


12:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Broken Circles"
or "A Map for Lost Lovers"
or "Chain of Fools"


2:42 AM  
Blogger Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Former lovers are best avoided. Because you've got over them.
Or even worse, because you haven't.

5:14 AM  
Blogger capella said...

booty crawl?

in college my friends and i drew a web of hookups once. it was scarily interconnected.

6:03 AM  
Anonymous ptm said...

Your doubt about doubling back shows that you live in a bigger city than I do. I bet we could do it in 5 nodes or less.

6:11 AM  
Blogger bitingblondewit said...

I had a similiar experience once. It felt more like an intervention or something though. Not fun. Good thing I enjoy (or did at the time) being told that I'm emotionally unavailable.

Booty crawl? Too funny!

7:49 AM  
Blogger Dubin said...

heh heh.

you said "lover."

heh heh.

8:56 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

I like Booty Crawl.

You know, I used to be pretty dedicated to the idea of staying friends with ex-boyfriends and hook-ups, on the theory that if I liked them enough to sleep with them, I would like them as friends as well. I am less enthusiastic about the idea now, on the theory that if I don't stay friends with my ex's, they can't sleep with my best friend. 'Course, that is less relevant now that my best friend is Chris, and I don't sleep with the gender he wants to, and I'm always looking to pimp him out anyway.

I think the reason it was fun on Saturday was that all the drama had been over for a dozen years.

9:08 AM  
Blogger Dar said...

1 vote for BoinkChaining!

I don't think I could do that. I mean, wouldn't you want to run home and soak yourself in rubbing alcohol when the realization hits you that everyone in the room has shared their slimy cooties?

Ignorance is bliss.

9:15 AM  
Blogger Tom said...

Booty crawl is hilarious.

9:34 AM  
Anonymous justus said...

I'm not sure whether this means you need to sleep with more of your friends or fewer.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous hamilton said...

Thoughts on booty crawl:

at first, it sounds exactly correct. But then, when I think of its origins (pub crawl, I presume?), it seems incorrect. To go pub crawling is to go to many pubs and use their facilities. But to go booty crawling, it seems that one does not, um, use the facilities in the same manner?

My suggestion is Following Fools (so that FF could be misappropriated in the manner of creativesoul). For fools rushed in where angels feared to tread, and now you follow where they led.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"69 Links"

11:48 AM  
Blogger Tom said...


that would be "69 degrees of separation"

12:38 PM  
Blogger lil miss dubin said...

>>They should all go to another former lover’s house, and the party should grow and move through as many people as possible.<<

That sounds like a Loth party.

4:22 PM  
Blogger lil miss dubin said...

BTW, my girlfriend Nonblogger and I always wanted to have a "Playing With Fire" theme party. This sounds like that.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

The party is WAY too easy in the co-ops. Beth knows you, by the way.

My sister and her friends have a DANGER! party, but I like Playing with Fire a lot.

5:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

" I see him occasionally, stayed with him on Friday. "

Did you do it?

2:17 PM  
Anonymous jens said...


8:24 PM  
Anonymous jens said...

hmmm..."naughtystalgia" sounds slightly cuter. Sorry to nitpick myself...

9:52 AM  
Blogger Butch Howard said...

the Booty Crawl map would likely look something like this map

9:15 PM  

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