html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Do I want the person there or not?

Monday, February 11, 2008

Do I want the person there or not?

How do I stand it? All the inviting and asking people to please come to my party, oh please? Does it sound mortifying to you? “Networking” sounds mortifying to me, but somehow inviting people to parties doesn’t trigger the same feeling.

First, of course, is that I trust my parties. I can sound enthusiastic about them because I’ve (often) done them before. I don’t generally try out a new theme or party location without having seen it work. I wouldn’t decide on a new type of party without having co-hosts who were willing to see it through with me. So I pretty much know that I am inviting people to come have a good time.

Second is that I’ve ditched a lot of the insecurity associated with inviting people to stuff. Multiple invitations is simply the process one uses. If I decided to invite them in the first place, I decided to remind them twice or more. (‘Sides, if those fuckers could remember an invitation the first time it was offered, I wouldn’t have to.) After throwing big and little parties, some with huge turnout and dedicated followings and some where just a few friends show up, you know it isn’t about you. It is about the rest of their lives and the atmosphere around the party and whether they got sunburned and tired that day. Not personal.

Finally, I don’t mind inviting people that I know will not attend. I figure that an invitation is a way to tell people “You are welcome and wanted. Someone thought of you when planning a good time. Your presence would help your host have a better time.”. Most of the point of an invitation is to get someone to attend something. But some of the point of an invitation is to tell people that I enjoy their company. That part works whether the person comes to the party or no.

So that’s how it is easy for me to issue so many invitations. I was all fraught about it years ago, but since then they have actually worked. People have shown up and a good time was had and the effort of putting out invitations has been well returned in fun.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some people get mad about the multiple invitations. They consider it badgering. But, it's definitely what it takes to get people out.

Anytime I plan anything I usually start an e-mail thread, and I make sure to ask everyone in person at least a couple of times.

Otherwise people quickly forget. In fact, I've found it's pretty common for people to say yes, then later change their minds without any notice. So, continually asking is necessary just to stay on top of that, especially if I'm counting on them for something.


5:42 PM  
Blogger scott said...

I always throw two parties at the same time. I always position one as the "cool" one against the other "lame" one. It makes the cool party a raging success.

Or so I've heard. I always attend the lame one.

Do you think this two-party system is bankrupt?

Hello, Megan.

6:35 PM  
Blogger Spungen said...

Apparently there exist people in the world with so many desirable events and invitations to sift through that they just forget if you don't pester them.

This is how I felt when I read the article about people complaning about too many wedding gifts to buy. Who are these people?

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Ennis said...

Wait, it was this hot and funny Megan throwing a party? I thought it was one of the other three hot and funny Megans throwing a party on this same Saturday night ... No wonder I got confused and didn't show up.

4:58 AM  

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