html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: For you, baby? Scalding hot.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

For you, baby? Scalding hot.

I was sitting with my little brother on my lap. He’s ten now, so he isn’t going to put up with that for much longer, but he’s a great kid and I’ll take it for as long as I can. I asked him what I ask anyone who sits on my lap. “So, are you a good boy?” He said he was, and I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. He didn’t come up with anything, so I prompted him.

“Would you like a cheerleader outfit with pom poms?”

He said he wouldn’t.

“How about an adorable pony?”

Nope. Not a pony.

“I know! I bet you want a really hard math book.”

Oddly, he didn’t want a really hard math book.

“For Christmas, would you like to do extra chores around the house? I can talk to Daddy…”

No, he didn’t want extra chores around the house.

I gave up. This was ridiculous. I teased him some about not getting him anything for Christmas if he was going to be so difficult about it. Then I hugged him and apologized for giving him a hard time. And he said “Well, it’s better than what you said you would get me for my birthday.” I didn’t remember, so I asked him what I said I would get him for his birthday. He said, “really hot water.”

“I told you I would give you hot water for your birthday?”

“Really hot water. Hot as I wanted it.”

“I said I would get you really hot water for your birthday?” “Yep.” “You’re sure?” “Yep. Really hot water.”

I can sort of reconstruct the context for that*, but most of me just thinks 'Jesus. What kind of horrible person tells her baby brother she’s giving him really hot water for his birthday?' I don’t know if it is better or worse that I didn’t even follow through on my offer.

*He got a trebuchet for his birthday. We were probably talking about sieging castles. From there, I think we talked about pouring boiling oil on the other army, and I suggested he needed boiling oil. Then I probably thought boiling oil would be hard to clean up, and offered him really hot water instead.



Blogger Sweet Coalminer said...

I remember when my cousin, who was 10 at the time, gave me a ring from a vending machine that said "love" on it. I told her it was the best present she ever gave me and that I would treasure it and wear it every day. Every time I saw her for weeks on end, she would say, "You said you were going to wear that ring every day and you don't have it on." (I was 18).

10 year olds are very literal. You should consider yourself lucky he said no to the pony.

5:53 PM  

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