html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Start the training montage, obviously.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Start the training montage, obviously.

I thought this was great. A formal invitation in the mail to please stay away! How great would that be, if, like, half the time you sent/got invitations to things and half the time you sent/got invitations away from things? What if you sent random invitations to stay away? Like, not meaningful stay-the-hell-away-from-my-birthday-party-because-I-still-hate-you, but you just picked random events that you weren't even going to, and sent people invitations telling them not to go either? That would be funny.

Then, this weekend, there was drama. Naturally, I talked through the drama with my friends, and Chris said "Well, how would you handle it if this were the movies?" Monica said "First, I would kidnap the President's daughter. Then we would go on a cross-country road-trip to prove my love for her. Then, just as they caught me and took me to jail, our eyes would meet and she would understand my soul." THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SHOULD DO! That will solve my drama!

Anyway, I love my new test for undecided situations. What would I do if this were the movies? I think that opens up huge realms of possibility. It reminds me that my ex and I used to think that our life should be more like a soap opera. So he'd come home and ask what I wanted for dinner, and I would shout "You didn't have to sleep with my twin", burst into tears and run out the door. It made everything better.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are we talking an action movie here? Romantic comedy? Superhero? PØrn?

They will all have quite different answers to a given situation.

Eg. Your spouse is kidnapped. "What would I do if this was a PØrn movie?" Result: Start unbuttoning the clothes of the cute police detective investigating the case. (Not recommended in real life.)

6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's actually a pretty clever way of making invitations.

8:08 PM  
Blogger Noel said...

Agreed, it is a great idea for invitations, though maybe not the best thing for nerds or the insecure.

People definitely like different amounts of drama in their lives. I've known a few people who like to blow everything up; probably they enjoy the attention, though I get bored of this kind of grandstanding. I guess my need for drama is at the mainstream Hollywood film level. At the opposite end of the scale you have the art house existential film: three hours sitting in a cafe doing nothing. Perhaps that ties in to the introvert/extrovert discussion.

2:07 AM  
Blogger Jacqueline said...

You want to make it with Bush's daughter? Which one?

1:33 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Natalie Portman.

2:27 PM  

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