html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Very fast ant jaws!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Very fast ant jaws!

I have this long, wistful post written out, which is totally going to make you cry 'cause it is real poignant. Then you can gaze out the window all day and think about missed chances for loooove and how hard I have it. I mean, I'll be doing that. Except that I won't because I'll be thinking about VERY FAST ANT JAWS!

I mean, holy shit! They snap their jaws together at 145mph! And the force can throw them backward into the air! Like, if they were people, it would be 44 feet high and 132 feet back! I want to do that! All the time!

That's super cool, 'cause it reminds me of those shrimp! That can snap their claws hard enough to cause cavitation and create bubbles with they use to stun their prey. That's what all makes all that clicking you hear when you go snorkling. Hell yes, I say. I would totally throw bubbles to stun my prey, if I ate prey that moved. Fast jaws and claws, that's what I want.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about cats? Cats are better than every other animal in every way. Ants and shrimp aren't even cute and cuddly.


10:57 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

I don't think you heard me. Can cats snap hard enough to create bubbles that they throw to stun their prey? My pretty cat sleeps with me every night, but she can't close her jaws fast enough to evade a lizard's tongue. The force of her bite doesn't send her flying through the air hundreds of feet. Adorable, but not comparable.

11:24 AM  
Anonymous UnderwearNinja said...

If you had jaws that could knock you back 145 feet, you'd better love it, because no man would ever unzip for that.

4:38 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

UnderwearNinja, I am disgusted by your filthy innuendo. Why would you bring that smut here? I'm sure that if I understood your perverted implications, I would blush and cover my ears. Maybe they talk like that in UnderwearLand, but I do not appreciate it here.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Ennis said...

Yikes! Next time somebody asks me if I have "ants in my pants" I'll think of this and shudder.

Have you all noticed that Megan can turn even a post on something as cool as very fast ant jaws into a hidden post about how much she adores and covets hops? Any hops - even snapping ant jaws hops!

6:47 AM  
Anonymous thelonious_nick said...

Yikes--I just hope these ants don't escape the laboratory and go on a rampage of terror through San Francisco. Although I've read enough comics to know that's almost inevitable.

6:54 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

OF COURSE they're gonna escape. But not until they've been exposed to THE RADIATION.

8:19 AM  

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