html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Perhaps sleep will ease my pain.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Perhaps sleep will ease my pain.

I have racked my brain, but no amount of combing through my past reveals a sin so great that I should be punished the way I am. I’ve looked for cruelties of deed or omission, times when my actions were deliberately hurtful, but I can find nothing on the scale that warrants the pain I feel tonight. In a past life did I wallow in all of the seven deadly sins? Break all Ten Commandments? Did I burn puppies alive? Kick kittens and bunnies? Was I reincarnated as a conscious being only that I might understand and suffer through every iota of this unending agony?

We came in second at Pub Quiz tonight. We tied for third and the sweet, sweet porn, but won the tie-breaker. Dave and I have been trying to win the porn for two years now. We’ve come in fourth several times. We have come in second before. We once won third place, but the quizmaster counted our score wrong! Tonight, only our accurate guess of the first year that a weather report appeared in the newspaper stood between us and twenty-four hours of barely legal teens. Two years of striving, and still karma holds our prize out of reach. I don’t know how much longer I can stand to work towards our long-denied dream. Tonight I sob myself to sleep.

4 Comments:

Anonymous jens said...

Apparently, you have the same pub quiz night as we do. But for us, there is no hope of porn....the best we can do is $400.

My wife and I are on separate teams -- coincidentally, two of the 4 teams that have won over 90% of the prizes. But tonight, we both sucked. The winning score was 11....but we had 7 and 6 respectively.

12:34 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

You could buy a lot of porn with $400.

11:14 AM  
Anonymous jens said...

It's not $400 every week (every week one final question is asked...if that question is answered correctly, the jackpot is disbursed, if incorrectly the jackpot grows up to a max of $400, at which point money starts going toward the NEXT jackpot) and since it is a team of four, that is just $100 per person.

Jocelyn's team won two weeks ago, and she only got $70. Unfortunately, she buys me a nice dinner out instead of porn. Historically, the dinner has always been more expensive than the prize.

Any porn purchases must come out of my regular earnings.

Why is it that sometimes the "WORD VERIFICATION" uses just 6 characters, and at other times around 35?

12:14 PM  
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6:15 AM  

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