html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: What makes good porn good?

Thursday, August 31, 2006

What makes good porn good?

Thor’s the only person who requested a topic, so Thor gets his question answered.

Hah! What makes any porn good is that I recognize the outdoor locations. I grew up in the San Fernando Valley, porn capital of the world. The movie Boogie Nights is shot largely on Vanowen Blvd, which used to be the street I took between my Dad’s and my Mom’s houses. I mostly don’t watch porn, especially now that I don’t have any way to, but my ex and I could never agree on what to rent. We compromised by each picking a movie, which is why we would have double features like Circle of Friends and John Wayne Bobbit Uncut. He made me check them out, saying he was embarrassed to be seen renting Circle of Friends. Anyway, the “nail shop” where “Eileen Bobbit” “worked” was a block west of the flower shop where I worked in high school. They showed the Topanga Theater, which I went to back when it was a theater. There was some park scene that I am pretty sure was the park my daycare took us to. So I like porn with street scenes.

When porn is called for, I prefer to read stories. (Except that when girls read porn, it’s called erotica.) I think that what makes good porn good is what makes good sex good. Good porn is porn that captures the moment you hope for in sex. OK porn can get at the fun thrashing around or give you ideas for elaborate sex or give you something to look at (or think about) while you get off. But really good porn reminds you of that moment right before he slides in, when you’re both holding your breath and both admitting that you really really want this, and that after all that wanting, you can finally relax and believe that it really is about to happen.

13 Comments:

Blogger thor said...

umm, wow. That last paragraph, Megan, was beautifully evoked and pretty hot and I am now finding it difficult to concentrate on my work. (now fanning myself)

12:38 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Always happy to accommodate my readers.

1:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gulp. Holy cow. I agree. Perhaps erotica writing as a potential mate attraction technique? -k.

1:43 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

I know a woman who writes erotic crosswords. So hot.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Dubin said...

"he


slides


in"


BAGOK!!!!!! BAGOK BAGOK!

5:55 PM  
Anonymous thelonious_nick said...

What I like about porn is the same thing I like about old black-and-white horror movies: the feeling that it is its own perfectly enclosed little world with its own rules and no connection to the outside world. (Why yes, I do read pornographic magazines for the articles. How did you know?) Both types of movies have a small number of characters involved in a contrived plot that fate them to an inevitable outcome. I love the isolated cocoon feeling this provides, that there is no outside force that can interfere once things are underway.

To me, an ideal director would be one in whose movies you could never be sure beforehand whether the lost teenagers pulling up to the isolated farmhouse would find an orgy or a massacre waiting for them.

My wife has never been able to understand why our Netflix list has movies like "Oasis of the Zombies" or "Incubus" on it. I'm still waiting for Netflix to start renting out porn titles, though.

7:23 AM  
Blogger Dubin said...

The only porn that ever did anything for me was the comic book "Cherry Pop Tart." Because it was so, so wrong. In so many ways.

:)

12:03 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Haven't read that. Should I find it?

12:09 PM  
Blogger thor said...

Dubin,

hahahaha! That looks fantastic and I will be checking it out. Megan, here's a Wikipedia entry for Ms. Cherry:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_Poptart

12:21 PM  
Blogger thor said...

Dubin, 'so so wrong' doesn't even begin to describe it. It seems to be more like Greek mythology -- where all the gods are randy as all get up and have no problem doing whoever happens to be around, thoughts of kinship be damned -- only more so. For instance, here's one character sketch from Wiki:

# Pepper - Cherry's mother. A divorced MILF who still looks young. She often does threesomes with Cherry and a boyfriend. In one episode the boyfriend passed out drunk, and she and Cherry just did each other. Another episode was a flashback to the sexual adventures of Pepper's own youth.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous jens said...

"Too idealistic" thread: 44 comments.
"Porn": 10 (now 11).

Megan, you might be appealing to the wrong audience.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous zorro said...

Not sure if you're a McSweeney's fan or not.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2001/05/08porn.html

8:05 PM  
Blogger David Zetland said...

Megan -- that's the best spin on porn I've ever read. It's also true for some people and, of course, not true for others, which is why porn is so nasty to "other others" who see what turns those first others on. I would say "De gustibus non est disputandum", but I'd like to remove cases of objective exploitation...

11:57 AM  

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