html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Will no one think of the goslings?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Will no one think of the goslings?

Driving along a canal today, we flushed three pheasants. They were gorgeous, flying wild, in browns and rich russets and iridescent greens. Naturally, the conversation turned to the opening day of pheasant season. Next week, they thought, ‘cause ducks a’ been open for a week now. “You know,” said one, “I just don’t care for duck. I do like a nice goose.”

“I never eat goose,” said the district engineer. “They mate for life, you know. Why, I drive by the same canal on the way to work, so I see it every day. Like a snapshot. One spring, I drove by and some coyote killed a goose. Big batch of feathers down the bank, and the carcass just had a bite out of it. That afternoon, when I drove by, there was just one goose, sitting on the bank near the body. Next morning, the goose was still there. Next afternoon, more of the carcass was gone, but that goose was still there. Well, this went on for a week and still that goose stayed on that bank. Happened I was there when that goose went back to the flock. They was all on the water, you know, then the whole flock rose up like they do. The whole flock rose up and turned north, started flying. They got up there, and that one goose broke off and came back. Landed right on that bank, where the body was. Chose to stay and die right there.”

“I can’t eat goose no more,” he said, his voice still heavy. “And ‘sides that, I just think of them goose children. Why, they gotta be latchkey geese. Running loose, getting’ into drugs, bustin’ things up. It just ain’t right.”

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That last part was you, I'm guessing. -K.

8:28 PM  
Anonymous ennis said...

Korean weddings, ducks and geese as traditional presents.

8:57 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

NO! It wasn't! I did not expect that at all, and there it was. I enjoyed the image, though.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

Back when I was first married, Wife and I would moderately often drive between Lompoc and Santa Maria. There's a decent chunk of farming land between, and one field in particular had a little herd of cows. Wife would always wave to them as we drive past.

"We're buddies," she'd explain.

One day, as we went past the field, we noticed the burned-out hulk of the barn that used to stand in same cow field.

Wife said very seriously, "*MY* cows would never do such a thing."

9:17 PM  
Blogger SydneyDawn said...

How sad. We actually had something similar happen with a couple of geese that were visiting our pond. One was hit by a car, but the other one stayed and stayed. It looked so lonely, and I felt so sad for it.

8:43 AM  
Blogger capella said...

Someone told me that every so often, amidst the water chitchat, you write a post that is just perfect. This is an example.

10:14 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

This post was a gift from the district engineer.

I've been wondering since yesterday if he told the first part of the story just to set up the latchkey geese, or if he meant the first part of the story (he sounded like he did) and threw that line in to restore the macho hunting vibe.

I have also heard of a traditional type of dry farmer wit. If this is it, my appreciation has gone way up. He definitely amped up the hick accent when he told the story.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Pandax said...

Great story... such imagery. It definitely makes me stop to reconsider eating geese (not that the opportunity presents itself often).

I was wondering about the hick accent as I was reading. What is this engineer fellow "normally" like?

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Couldn't you solve all this by having 2 goose dinners?

Justin

12:45 PM  
Anonymous jens said...

Justin, I think you're missing the point...and I think you're missing that point on purpose...and in a funny way.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

I loved Justin's solution. He is such an engineer.

9:52 AM  
Blogger Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey said...

YOU MADE ME CRY. AUUUUUUUGH. POOR GEESE!

12:15 PM  

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