Was that too much? I never know.
I revisited my Nerve/Salon/Onion personal ad last night, so I could write to a guy whose profile I liked. They've added some new questions. Tell me the truth, y'all. Should I leave the following answer up?
25 years from now, I see myself
Divorcing my devoted husband, who never saw it coming, and running off with his brother.
25 years from now, I see myself
Divorcing my devoted husband, who never saw it coming, and running off with his brother.
posted by Megan at 11:14 AM
41 Comments:
NO. Too snarky. You certainly shouldn't be completely earnest, but that comment makes you sound, you know, extra snarky.
Send me the profile of the guy you want to write to, I will tell you if my crystal ball says he's worthy.
Perfect. Irreverent. Clever.
An excellent bait.
Leave it.
Anyone you are really trying to attract should find that funny. It would help if he had a hot brother or at least pretended to.
Oh yeah, send him to Dubin. You knew the day would come where a friend with a crystal ball would come in handy!
A smokin' hot brother is one of my non-negotiable requirements for anyone I date.
I guess I'm out, then. Oh well.
It's too much, sugar. Just not exactly what you want to hear in a personals ad. It's kind of a red flag, even if the humor isn't lost on the person. They always say in all humor, there is some truth!
Cute, probably a bit out of place, unlikely to be fatal.
The touch of bitterness probably reduces the overall attraction more than the humor increases it.
But I'm not bitter about divorcing an imaginary husband in favor of his imaginary brother.
I just think the question is ridiculous. Basically the only acceptable answer is some variant on "snuggling with my still-handsome husband in front of the fire in between long walks on the beach". So the question doesn't elicit much information, and should be mocked, like I did.
Funny to us, but think -- how would you feel about a prospective male date who wrote something like that?
spungen: do you have a better way to answer the question while at the same time noting it is inane?
s.
Spungen:
I would be truly delighted at something funny. Funny is hard to come by in personal ads.
Where's Underwear Ninja? He understands (at 10:36).
spungen: do you have a better way to answer the question while at the same time noting it is inane?
Mocking the question is appropriate, but I'd want to be careful not to also mock fidelity and devotion.
You could give the typical answer re fire and beach, and see if he spots the ironic spirit beneath the layers of bull. You know, sort of a "Princess and the Pea" test.
It sounds too trying/malicious/reacting/etc. you might as well just include a pic wearing a red clown nose.
I'd dig it. My brother deserves a good
girl.
What everyone else has said is nancy bullshit. Leave it, it's not snarky, bitter, or too much. Those personal ad templates are super lame. Conveying some personality and witty humor in them is exceptionally difficult. If some guy doesn't get your comment, takes it seriously, or is generally put off by it, then the ad's screening abilities are fully intact. This is a good thing.
It doesn't matter for this purpose whether you are bitter or not...one way to interpret this is that there was something similar to this scenario in your past which made you bitter.
Unless the reader already knows you quite well (in which case, if he were suitable, he would be already snuggled with you, so why bother with the ad), that interpretation is going to run through his mind and leave a little shadow there.
If you want to use humor to highlight the inanity (I thought that was the most irritating question in a job interview, not a personal ad!), it is best to use something outre that is not relationship oriented.
Jens, as usual, is on the money. The best I could come up with while mulling this over at the gym is:
25 years from now, I see myself
In the mirror while brushing my teeth, reflected in shop windows as I walk down the street, staring back at myself from the still ocean as I stand at the end of the beach.
Lame, I know. I hope the rest of you can top it!
I suspect too much. It'd be one thing if you were looking for a fun dating experience along with some hot sex, but since you actually are looking for a devoted husband, I think it may run afoul of the "always some truth in humor" theory mentioned upthread.
Isn't snark supposed to be at someone else's expense?
Personally I find the humour a bit snarky (the "at whose expense" is the writer of the questionaire) and slightly off-putting. It seems like you don't take the dating site seriously -- which is fine, since its obviously cheesy, yet perhaps you don't take dating seriously either then. Many a good man could take it wrong. Maybe they were not right for you if they didn't get it - maybe they are and they just would need to know you a bit first. Who knows.
If the humor is very good I would enjoy humor in those questions - but I prefer honesty that manages to still be interesting.
"In 20 years I see myself having completed at least one book on [my preferred academic subject] that manages to make into Barnes & Nobles... and have someone to share it with who will actually read it. Then I see us hopping on a plane to [favorite exotic place]."
"I'd dig it. My brother deserves a good girl. "
Best answer yet.
Yep. I liked Steven's comment, too.
I'm also thinking that my readers aren't Reel Big Fish fans.
Should be mocked, agreed 100%. But mock the question, not your intentions. Does that make sense? Or is that the same thing?
My suggestion:
25 years from now I see myself:
From the back, holy cow I have a nice ass for a _ year old who had _ children!
See, then you get to say something about your current beliefs (I want 22 children (and a nice ass)!)
Have a nice Tuesday. :)
-Mel
Wait - Roonie? As in Taz's friend Roonie? Weird ...
i laughed so hard i almost fell off my chair. keep it! if he can't appreciate it, why would you want him?
That's awesome. I vote leave it.
My theory is that if something like that is beyond the pale, it's not going to work anyway.
Then again, I'm sitting alone tonight...
Why even ask silly questions like "Whatever happened to suburban rhythm?"
Obviously, after one too many pregnancies, it was replaced by the pill.
Ennis and Roonie:
You know each other?
Hamilton:
You liked it! YAY! You're usually telling me to tone it down. Glad to find one to agree on.
PTM:
What happened to your ladyfriend from this summer? You can tell us. We're all friends here.
Hamilton:
Maybe not the same Hamilton as usual? And not my friend's brother, right?
A couple months after I got back to town, I was dumped by email. Ouch.
Oooooh. Sorry to hear that.
I never liked her anyway. You're way too good for her.
Does she have a hot roommate you could date?
"You're way too good for her. "
Funny, most of my female friends say that. But one rather relevant one disagreed. It mostly came down to a standard two body problem.
And her roommate is a dumpy computer guy. I've already got that department covered.
Even odds I'll pass through town in Jan or Feb to visit an old friend now in Davis. I'll be in touch if I do.
"In twenty-five years I see myself...
committing suicide after realizing I can't convince anyone that I have the gift of prophecy. And no one will believe me about the horse."
And thanks for the RBF reference!
-john
John:
That was AWESOME.
ptm:
You got a place to stay...
Twenty five years from now I see you writing how the army corps of engineers has been called in because the state of California has spent 5 billion dollars and Los Osos still doesn’t have a sewer system.
Who are you, that leaves such an excellent comment, and then tips her hat and leaves without introducing herself?
Well I like to be mysterious, but this is your blog and you have a desire to know your readership. My name is Bertram, I live in San Francisco, and I was trying to random meet you at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass, but of course it was rather spread out.
I would like you to answer the question “in 25 years I’m going to use the newly invented time machine to go back and make the director of Beijing Bicycle change the film so the delivery boy gets the student’s girl but the student meets a girl at the delivery service and he gets a job arranging the bicycle gangs to put on show of trick bicycle riding and racing to promote the delivery company.”
If it’s not suppose to be depicting real events I feel free to rewrite the story my way although for a work with large readership like Lord of the Rings we have to share the same words although we can still argue interpretation.
If it’s not suppose to be depicting real events I feel free to rewrite the story my way ... .
Bertram!! I am so disappointed I missed you at HSB! Do you want to try again? I'm in Oakland most weekends, and we could make half-assed vague plans to be in the same crowd somewhere another time. Did you approach any cute frisbee girls?
Dude, I feel free to re-write stories my way even when they are depicting real life. In my stories, we freakin' let the South secede, and I live in the United States of Pacifica, where there are rather stricter environmental laws, let me tell you.
I saw little frisbee throwing at HSB and none by females. Weirdly enough I didn’t see any of the people there who I knew had an interest in bluegrass, but saw some who I didn’t believe had any interest.
I’m generally too SF centric to make vague plans in Oakland but the Fungus Fair
http://www.museumca.org/events/fungus_fair2006.html
is sufficiently close and interesting and the Oakland Museum is sufficiently large to make a plan to meet there half-assed and vague.
Regards,
Bertram
Oooh! The Fungus Fair looks excellent. I wish I could maybe be there at the same time as you, without knowing what you look like or anything. But, I'll have a house full of family this weekend (four adults to four babies, which seems like a dangerously low ratio to me), and can't make tenuous plans. I'll announce the next time I'm in your zip code, though.
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