html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Still no porn.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Still no porn.

The English professor was at Pub Quiz tonight. I sent him a note (through a friend at the neighboring table) that read:
Dear [Name],

Would you like to go on a date with me?

Yes:
No:

Megan
[phone number]
There were little check boxes next to the words Yes and No.

There was giggling and glances my way from his table, but he did not do me the courtesy of an immediate reply. We'll see if he calls. Either way, at least you people can't tell me that he might have missed my hints.

28 Comments:

Blogger Spungen said...

Now you'll have to tell us if he calls! Good luck.

At least you didn't have one of your friends call him, refuse to ID herself, and ask who he thought was cute.

11:35 PM  
Anonymous teofilo said...

Atta girl, Megan.

11:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You didn't leave him a probabilistic option?
Tyler

4:18 AM  
Blogger Noel said...

Probabilistic? Surely a fuzzy set is more appropriate for modelling this situation?

4:33 AM  
Anonymous jens said...

Give the boy a chance to come to terms with his good fortune.

I remember back in high school back in the seventies I had a tremendous crush on Amy, and I would sit in class behind her and play with her hair. She passed me a note that said "Jens, aren't you going to kiss me?"

I was so embarassed I avoided her for days. When I brought the matter up about a week later, she said she was only kidding, but sounded a bit annoyed. I suspect she had actually been serious, but was so disappointed at the slowness of my response that we never did get that kiss.

Of course, my idea of romance in those days was to walk seven miles to her house on her birthday to give her a book on how to play chess, hoping she would study up and there would be something we could do together.

She lives in California now, and her oldest son is a marine.

5:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's too bad. Maybe you'll do better next time.

AS

6:29 AM  
Blogger amanda bee said...

You might consider an email address, if you want a full answer. I mean, he's pretty much only going to call if he wants to go on a date. If, however, he is married or gay or has scabies and doesn't want to spread it, he doesn't have any good way of saying "hun, you are hot but you don't have the gonads I prefer."

Just a thought.

7:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a lame response on his part. On behalf of males, I apologize.

-- Ennis

8:22 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

Hah! We thought about the note afterwards, and there was definitely room for improvement.

First, my name and number should have been on a tear-off strip, so that he could return the note to me, but keep my number.

I should have left an email address.

But, like Tyler said, it should have been a multiple choice answer.

A. Yes! I'll call you.
B. Thanks for asking, but I'm seeing someone.
C. Let's chat some more; meet me over by the bar?
D. No thanks. I prefer to suck cock.
E. Other _____________________


I'll be better prepared next time I want to have my friend give his friend a note to put in his locker.

9:30 AM  
Anonymous justus said...

I think the note was sufficient as is.

Ditto on what Ennis said.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Pandax said...

Aw, can't believe he didn't do anything. Giggling? How many people were in on it? Maybe there was too much pressure.

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wait, i love that so much. even if for some reason (prefering to suck cock, for example) he doesn't call, the fact that you did that shows you are capable of doing some awesome, romantic, risky stuff like that--which is sure to pay dividends, even if not now. (i gave my number to someone on BART back in the day. i'm not sure i would do that now, but i wish i had the gumption of the younger me.) rock on, sista! love it.

2:06 PM  
Blogger ScottM said...

The note was wonderful, though I do like your new and improved note too.

Here's to hoping.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

D. No thanks. I prefer to suck cock.

Holy crap, hilarious. You must have got some man to write that for you.

3:00 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Mark:
Fucker. You actually got me for a couple seconds, with outrage and everything. Then I got the joke. I hate being bait-able, especially in a predictable way.

3:14 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

I honestly didn't mean to bait you! Sorrrryyy!

I find it highly amusing to parody narrow-minded people, but the downside is that sometimes people can't tell I'm being a parody.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Dude, no need to apologise, it was funny.

People can't tell that I am being a parody either, and then they come to silly conclusions about me based on my jokes.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

My most spectacularly unsuccessful incident was when I responded to a birth announcement with fake confusion and "but, but, you're not even married!?!"

4:15 PM  
Blogger Dubin said...

LOVE IT. That's fun. The problem with notes, though, is it's not like email where they can immediately write you back privately. Maybe he got skeered. I hope he calls, but Younger Dubin is right -- when I do those things, I get pretty dang stoked with myself regardless of the outcome.

I have one main example of this phenomenon. When I was 23 I was stupidly obsessed with this older (40) guy I worked with, and he was your typical ascetic workaholic and for no understandable reason, I hearted him. It got so bad, I couldn't deal with work at all. But unlike a high school crush, where you're hoping the person will want to go out with you, I didn't want to particularly date him. I didn't KNOW what I wanted beyond his recognition and attention. So it was confusing.

One day, I had completely had enough and decided to diffuse the bomb one way or another. I waited for him after work, outside the door on Bush Street. (I had to wait for a long time, I told you he was a workaholic.) He finally came out and said, "Dubin, what are you doing here?" I said, "I have something I need to tell you," and he said, "Are you quitting?" and I said, "No, I have a massive crush on you."

So then, we walked uphill to get "some coffee" and this was extra funny because I was getting drymouth and walking up hill wasn't helping. He let me down gently by explaining that he didn't think it was a good idea in general to date coworkers. Ha! At that point, I couldn't possibly care less, I was just so enthralled with myself that I had done something completely unprecedented in my life.

The point is, sometimes it's about empowerment and YOU, not about who takes the bait, you know?

4:36 PM  
Anonymous jens said...

Don't worry, Megan...this is not a compliment for you, although it may reflect on you a little. You could consider it active kindness to my fellow commenters, but kindness sounds so condescending, and I don't mean it that way at all.

It's just that some of the comments in this thread have been so sweet and so strong and so true I have tears in my eyes at the moment.

10:04 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Jens:
It is totally true that all the commenters here are awesome and write amazing things.

Especially Mark Nau, whose comments are so raw and soulful that they make my heart ache for him.

10:18 PM  
Anonymous yoyo said...

well bully on you for having more guts than most people usually have.

the problme of course is its likely hot-trivia-champ only has average level guts.

The temptation being, to take his win, and not risk it by doubling down and actually calling you.

Right now he feels hot. If he calls you up he gives you a chance to reject him.

if only the people we liked were as good as we think they are.

1:07 AM  
Blogger Dubin said...

Could someone explain to me the relationship between pubquiz and porn?

9:37 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

First place at Pub Quiz is a $30 credit with the pub.

Second place at Pub Quiz is a $20 credit with the pub.

Third place at Pub Quiz is porn; the only prize worth winning.

We've come in 2nd a couple times and fourth, and placed lower lots of times. But we haven't earned the porn yet.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

Hehehe! Although I think you're confusing me with eDubin. That happens a lot.

12:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Megan, that is truly excellent. I am proud of you. -K.

5:23 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Huston said...

Damn! An email address... I also like the multiple choice. He would've had options, even answer D has plausibility.

Maybe he's dating one of the women that were at his table?

8:35 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

That would have been super great if one of those women had sent back a note telling me to "Step off, bitch!".

You know, people can date me or not, whatever. But it is such a bummer when they don't use the excellent set-ups I provide.

9:24 PM  

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