Not that there's anything wrong with that.
My friends. If you answer a personal ad I've posted, I will google you. I will google you by your first and last name. I will google you by name and city. I will also google your email address. You might not expect that, but I will. I will google your complete email address and I will google just your login, which you might use more widely as a handle. By the time I answer your email, I will have found everything obvious. I will know what you buy on eBay. I will know about your organizations. I will know what questions you've asked on tech threads. I will know about the races you run. I will know this very quickly.
Some people might not expect about the email address. I understand that. But I did not expect that when I googled the guy by moderately distinctive first and last name, the top hit for him would be on a furry bulletin board. (If you don't know what furries are, I will not be the person to tell you.) Consulting adults and all that, but:
1. Why would you use your full first and last name to introduce yourself as a wolf?
2. Why is my dating life a farce?
Some people might not expect about the email address. I understand that. But I did not expect that when I googled the guy by moderately distinctive first and last name, the top hit for him would be on a furry bulletin board. (If you don't know what furries are, I will not be the person to tell you.) Consulting adults and all that, but:
1. Why would you use your full first and last name to introduce yourself as a wolf?
2. Why is my dating life a farce?
posted by Megan at 8:44 PM
40 Comments:
It could have been someone pissed off at him or playing a joke, posing as him.
That's like something I'd do. ;)
That's pretty good, actually. I got a couple names you could use next.
Bah, the the simple way around all of this is an anonymous e-mail address. Hotmail hands them out. I use my anonymous e-mail addresses when I don't want the person I'm e-mailing to know anything about me. Like, when I'm buying stuff online and whatnot.
I think I've still got, well, at least 6 e-mail addresses.
And what's wrong with furries? It's cute. It'd be cuter if he picked a more fluffy/friendly animal.
Anyway, how do you know it's him? When I google for my main e-mail alias, lots of stuff comes up that isn't me.
I say go for it, go out with the potential furry. You might like it.
Justin
I strongly suspect I wouldn't like dating a furry.
This totally feels like an episode of "Sex and The City", or maybe some other single-girl show I never saw. It really is farcical as opposed to grim, although perhaps Megan feels differently.
Speaking of TV shows, "The Bachelor" starts again next Tuesday! Woo-hoo!
Perhaps I just revealed too much...
Marcus
Naw, this episode is pretty funny. I just want them to quit re-running the one where his ex-girlfriend comes back.
You know, if I were dating someone, I wouldn't be in conversations where people were telling me just to give the furry a chance. You married people truly do not understand how good you have it.
*****
Also, if you very strongly believe that one of your respondents is a pathological liar because:
1. you can't find any trace of him on Google, and
2. what would someone with that many advanced degrees from very prestigious universities be doing in your town which has no industry in that field (and he doesn't show up at any close universities), and 3. he sends you a picture of himself with frosted tips;
do you go out to dinner with him to see what else he'll tell you, or do you avoid potential trouble?
Go out with him and then blog about him. The upside of dating weirdos is it makes excellent blog fodder.
Whatever, I still say furries are cute.
Here's a picture of me as a cat for halloween.
And, just to prove that I'm still a man, here's a picture of me backpacking at Mt. Lassen, crossing a snow covered bridge.
Justin
I'd think that you could get a sense of whether or not someone is playing a joke on him by searching the bulletin board for other posts under that alias. Are there lots? A joker wouldn't go to that trouble. Plus, aren't you curious about what else he's said in that forum? I certainly am.
I'm still laughing; of all the things in the world "furry bulletin board" was one of the last things I expected to see. I dare you to use this ill-gotten knowledge in a response. It doesn't have to be overt; sign yourself "Little Red Riding Hood" or something.
Megan, it's not just your dating life that's a farce.
Just yesterday I mentionned the new girlfriend to a buddy, by first name and occupation. Turns out he's been dating her, too. Hmm.
Justin:
You're outdoing yourself.
Mitch:
Dude, if I'm not going to date him, I'm not going to mess with him either.
Pete:
Really?? Recently? Perhaps she wasn't aware that she was (is?) your girlfriend. Perhaps that means something different to her.
Um, doh. Not as big a tale as I claimed.
Shoulda been "he'd been dating ..." Back when we were going on our first couple dates, she also went on a couple dates with him before breaking it off with him.
Mostly I was just amused at the small-town aspect.
Also, I think you meet the alleged academic. This has "good story" written all over it.
Well, you've told us about your city's interwoven dating pool before. Better to be on your end of the story that his.
Hey, do you know where you're going to school in the fall?
Well, then, sorry to repeat myself.
Duke. Turns out that the private school has more money than anybody else. Who knew?
It's not like HE'D be furry!
You'd just have to wear your Halloween costume more often than normal. If you're not willing to make tiny sacrifices like that, how're you EVER going to find a boy :-)
As interwoven dating pools go, back when I was using a dating service (which is how I met my wife) I was introduced to only FOUR women in 6 months (one of whom just called me on the phone to tell me she was moving out of state and wouldn't bother to meet me, one of whom I met once and there was no "click" whatsoever, and two pharmacists).
Both of the pharmacists were nice, and I had a couple of dates with the first...but she just wasn't EAGER for me the way she should have been. The second one I married.
A bit after the wedding, the first pharmacist became my wife's supervisor. Apparently the first pharmacist found that awkward (even though there was nothing beyond a brief goodnight kiss in our past), and she didn't show up to any of the picnics, etc., to which I was invited.
Small world.
Oh, by the way....
My WIFE got over TEN dates every month from the same dating service!
She actually dated two of us on the same day before she settled on me.
Pete,
I didn't mean, like, you're repeating yourself. I meant, like, yeah, confirming sound, you've said that's what happens, hmmmh, funny that it happened again.
Yeah, well, unfortunately you can't see my tail. And, there's no video of me walking around licking my hand, then rubbing it over my cat ears.
Justin
We are heartbroken that there isn't video.
Justin, honey. You are aware that I am referring to people who dress up as animals to have sex?
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sure, I've seen pictures. It's cute. They really get dressed up too, like, makeup, and everything.
It seems like a lot of effort. But, wouldn't you rather he do that than actually have sex with animals?
And, this doesn't seem so far off from the lingerie thing girls like to do.
Justin
Hey, I have advanced degrees from prestigious universities and I'm in your little central valley town. It happens. Of course, it takes a long backstory to get things to that point, but life is a long and winding road. And advanced degrees do not make you immune to any form of human stupidity, up to and including frosted tips.
Marcus, hon. I wasn't going to say anything about your hair. But those streaks don't make you look sunkissed.
It isn't just the advanced degrees, it is that I don't know of any industry here that requires that specialization. (And, of course, I know every single thing that goes on in Sac.) I expect to see all sorts of prestigious politico degrees here, like yours.
Speaking as a married person, I do understand how good I have it.
I wonder if your expectations are off, though. If you judge every first contact based on "will we get married and grow old together", you're creating the farce, not just getting unlucky.
If you're just looking to meet interesting people and NOT live your life with them, you can have a lot more fun in the process.
If you're dating someone instead the conversations would revolve around how you just discovered that the person you've been dating for four months is a furry/bisexual/pedophile/serial cheater instead.
It's not like everything always turns perfect just because you happen to go on more than three dates with someone.
Usually I'm nodding in agreement with Justin's comments. But I am just laughing and shaking my head today.
I'm gonna go with, Furries are cute until they start humping your leg. Then not so cute. Egads.
-dithers
Megan,
I find your posts interesting and diverting, without exception (and the comments and commentators here warm, thoughtful and well-informed). Truly I know not whether the wide-ranging coverage of life's bits and exigencies or the consistency of voice and spirit is more impressive, diverting and engaging.
But while we're more or less on the subject of animals: far be it from me to have even the smallest complaints about the dontically perfect equine boon that this free and always available home away from home on the wild internets is to me. But. But.
I've been holding on by my fingernails for weeks now (could it be only weeks? the heavy hand of eternity would cradle me more gently between its gnarlsome digits). My hope for a post about an industrial facility of some kind, or something about modeling a particular phenomenon, or something about modeling in general, or (oh, rapturous recitation) an update on Los Osos has become desire, and desire become need, and need become nearly unbearable.
The "wicked problems" pointer helped, at first. But then the Tocqueville effect kicked in hard and fast and I began to gather within myself courage to speak out.
So, this I will say: please take pity on those of us who love alongside all else we find here but inextricably the bits of shiny knowledge from over the hedges of a discipline different from our own.
Yours sincerely,
The Movement That, While Never Wanting to Overstep Our Bounds As Readers, Would Solemnly Request Regular Engineering, Inspectating, and Monograph-writing Posts
KWINDLA! My friend! I didn't know you were still reading! Can we come over again? That was a really fun night of really good food.
Is it possible you don't know? I have an entire blog about nothing but Los Osos. I had to stop writing about it here, because I was getting too many hits from Los Osos and my old posts were too biased now that I know more about it. But I have a password protected blog where we talk about nothing but Los Osos. If you email me, I'll invite you right away. (Well, this evening, more likely.)
You're looking for other water dorkiness right? Shoot. I haven't been out in the field much. But I'll see what I can do.
Megan in post:
"(If you don't know what furries are, I will not be the person to tell you.)"
Megan in comments:
"Justin, honey. You are aware that I am referring to people who dress up as animals to have sex?"
Apparently Megan will be the one to tell you, at least if you are Justin. :)
For Justin, I break all my rules. Mostly because he really would send me video of him dressed as a cat, preening. If the rest of you did more of that, I would break my rules for you, too.
And, um, because I wanted to be sure he knew what he was endorsing! Which he did! Awesome.
megan!
Of course I'm still reading -- I wouldn't miss it for the world. Last time you were down here I was out of town, or something, that's the only reason we didn't beg you to do us the honor of hanging out with you again.
On L.O.: I can hear a bell faintly dinging a long way down one of the twisty passages of my very tiny brain. I did mean to ask if I could perhaps access that blog from time to time.
But oh yes (oh, oh, yes) how about some more water wisdom.
In other news, you've also made me want to play ultimate again. I'm moderately old, and immoderately decrepit, and appear to spend every waking hour sitting in front of a computer (from which position it's extremely hard to contribute effectively to the weak-side force), but perhaps those handicaps can be overcome somehow.
Nina says Hi!
Oh, and many apologies for two appearances of the word "diverting" in my previous comment. How that slipped through, we'll never know. The other day I was trying (by email) to promise a very large client that we would make sure to help them mount our cameras "unobtrusively" in their facilities, but instead I wrote "unobrusively." So now, for the sake of consistency, we describe ourselves as experts in unobrusive systems design. In fact, the world's leading experts. This is not our only expertise, but we have come to think of it as significant, and certainly a differentiator.
Unobrusive is totally a design feature. I wouldn't want to own anything that wasn't unobrusive.
Tom and Susan! Kwindla and Nina are having us over again! We should stop eating now, so we'll be hungry enough for that huge picnic table of yummy food. (I don't actually know when I'll be in LA again, but you can be sure I'll remind you in several weeks.)
tateHuh. I asked to be on the Los Osos special list, and you never invited me. Not that I would read it very much, but I would try to. Because you are my friend.
I'll send you an invitation tonight. I'm sorry I haven't before. But I don't remember your earlier request. My bad.
All dining invitations extended by Kwindla and Nina will be eagerly accepted. Just say when. :)
Jaqueline is right. Bizaro dates are great blog fodder.
I send my (married with 2 kids) sister my "Vicarious Dating" updates about the bar scene, the music scene, the dating scene, and except for the one guy I mentioned at dinner, all dates have been mediocre at best in the past 2 years.
I've read this whole thread and still only have a vague idea of what a furry bulletin board is.
-----time lapse-----
Ok, I gave up and looked it up on urban dictionary. I think I actually know a girl who might be into him.
I friend of mine had a username that inadvertently sent signals to trolls, so I looked up the term. And I still don't really understand what it means. (I'm guessing that's probably a good thing.)
Better luck with future dating inquiries! :)
I'm so glad you do your due diligence!
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