html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: But it says 'No More Furious Rages'...

Monday, April 10, 2006

But it says 'No More Furious Rages'...

I don’t really mind if the booklist in my Salon ad acts as a strong screen. I know from non-flirting interactions with people that I can’t be with anyone who doesn’t get my jokes. We’ll be chatting, and I’ll throw something out like “Yeah, but did you see what she was wearing?” And people who are really earnest and nice will just look at me. Then their face falls and they get a sad look in their eyes and they feel bad that the world has mean people like me in it. If I am lucky, they’ll scold me, so I can explain what I meant. Otherwise we’ll just be awkward and I remind myself to bring the mouth filter next time.

But the men who really worried me were the ones who thought my booklist in Salon was serious and still responded. I got a couple responses that said things like “I can see you’ve been through some hard times, and I have too, but the important thing is that you are working on getting better.” Holy shit. I always wonder how crazy women have relationships, but I figure the drama didn’t come out until after the guy was already smitten. These guys had every warning in the world, were safely behind their monitors, and took affirmative steps to go get the crazy. I didn’t answer their emails. They need to be taking care of heroin-addicted strippers; I can’t possibly bring enough trouble for them.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Justin said...

30 cats isn't too many! Well, maybe for my apartment, but given the space, how could you possibly have too many cats?

2:30 PM  
Anonymous peefer said...

(I arrived here via Greg.)

Geez, some men are really screwed up.

...

Um, 'you busy Friday?

7:08 AM  
Blogger Papa Goose said...

I'm 66, married, overweight. But, after reading your post, we might be soulmates. Do you like to walk on the beach in the rain?

Arrived here via Greg. Your book list is wonderful.

7:35 AM  
Blogger Rob E. said...

...and slowly the entire internet turns it collective head to survey your love life. Run.

Another Geese A'Plenty reader here. The booklist is good, and a good filter, appearantly, considering that some people are not getting it.

I have had positive Salon experiances, or, rather, I have had one positive experiance that has been lasting three years at present. I can see why you'd worry if you were seeing the same profiles over time, but consider also that you could be seeing repeat customers, who didn't find a lasting relationship but did find it a successful way to meet people. Because that is, I think, the biggest challenge for those of us who may not be as socially adept. I liked the on-line personals because you knew from the beginning that the person was presumably available and interested in a relationship. There's a lot more to a successful relationship, but it certainly takes some of the pressure off to have that filter as well. Also consider that while some of those people may be the folks you remember, there must be some fresh faces, too, and probably some absent faces who you simply don't remember because they came and went between visits.

Anyhow, there appear to be more geeks now than ever, so they must be procreating somehow, so take heart. I can only tell you what worked for this geek, but I think for everyone it's a matter of trial and error with maybe a smattering of dumb luck. Good luck.

9:23 AM  
Blogger K said...

I saw a bandwagon leaving from Geese Aplenty and hopped on. Humorous entry.

4:53 PM  

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