html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: You are my hero! I'll totally pay you back when I can.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

You are my hero! I'll totally pay you back when I can.

Oh, honey, don't be like that. You know I can't bear it when you're mad at me. Seriously, you're like the most important person in the world to me. You're like, my best friend. That's why I tell you everything. You're the only person I can tell about all those guys. I feel like everyone else would call me a slut. But I know that you will still be there for me. Like that time, when I had to move, and you were the only person who came over to help me? If it were anyone else, I would be so embarassed when we moved the mattress and we found those scarves. But you just looked at them, kinda stared and sighed, and then you carried that really heavy box downstairs. Man, I was so tired that night, so I really appreciated that backrub. And then, you started to say something, but I totally fell asleep. That's 'cause I trust you sooo much. You're like my brother or something.

I totally don't know why you don't have a girlfriend. You are really nice, and like, so reliable. You were talking to that one girl at that party. You know, when you had to drive me home because I was so drunk? What happened to her? She seemed nice, like you. It's like, you don't even want sex or something. Dude, we all need sex. I mean, that's why I bring those assholes home. God, we don't even talk (not that we could, 'cause our mouths are full, if you catch my drift). Seriously, we just fuck, and then drink a beer and maybe have a second go. That's why I need you to talk to. So I can tell you things, and you can tell me that I'm pretty, even if those dicks never call me afterward. One day I'm going to have a nice boyfriend, someone like you, only, you know, hotter.

11 Comments:

Blogger grant said...

One day I'm going to have a nice boyfriend, someone like you, only, you know, hotter.

Ouch.

11:24 AM  
Blogger srchngformystry said...

wow. i love that you have this person to talk to. too bad he wasnt, you know, hotter.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Ennis said...

Can't match that out of my own creative output, but how about this and this as counterparts?

1:43 PM  
Anonymous justus said...

Holy crap. I thought Breakup Girl was dead and gone after the Oxygen fiasco. I was a regular on those forums long, long ago. One of my friends met her husband via Break Up Girl.

1:55 PM  
Anonymous Ennis said...

It's a long story and I don't know how much they tell in public. They're personal friends, so I got the email when they created breakupgirl.net with their old content. It was a mess.

Sorry, Megan for changing topics in your comments.

2:05 PM  
Blogger TS said...

See, most guys know that you can't have both good looks and a great personality, so we always go with the more important of the two - looks.

6:07 PM  
Anonymous hirodotus said...

I thought you didnt drink beer?

11:28 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Was the beer the only thing that seemed incongruous about this post?

10:40 AM  
Blogger Ananda said...

The lack of blonde lobster mentions also seemed incongruous, I suppose.

9:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As the guy in that conversation a long time ago, yipes. He's saying, "Someday she'll realize what she is missing in me. If I just hang in there, you know, like those dramedy serieses (serei?) on television, it will all work out."

But it won't. And that's not really your problem. It's his.

So we're cool.

8:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on, go for him. After a few years in a long term relationship, you won't notice the hotness or lack thereof.

7:24 AM  

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