And?!! Also?!! I got twelve hours of sleep!!!!
I met Ali for coffee today, and we went to the new café and guess what?! They have Casey’s muffin recipes! They’re gonna sell Casey’s apple muffin and my life is complete and I don’t need men or sex or babies. And then?! Ali’s fixed gear has an anodized pink chain. I might just die of jealousy. Before, I wanted to pretend that I wasn’t a follower and trying to be cool like my early twenties friends. I can’t care about that any more. I want a colored bike chain more than anything I’ve seen in a long time. I could just pimp my current bike, ‘cause UnderwearNinja tells me the chain is loose. But as long as I am getting a new $5 chain, I might as well get a fixed gear to wrap it around. I’m gonna do it.
Two, three years ago, a black hoodie came to me on the Ultimate fields. No one claimed it for a while, so I just started wearing it and I loved it all the time. Then, one evening last winter, Ali was cold so I gave her the black hoodie to wear. She kept it and confessed that she likes it even more ‘cause it was mine once. I am unutterably touched that something of mine could be a comfort object for her. I understand, though, ‘cause when I go down to see my baby siblings in LA, I almost always sneak a ponytail holder from my baby sister. Ponytail holders are better if she wore them first. Anyway, I bought a new hoodie today, so that Ali and I can be twins this winter. And she is moving in with me. Men, why aren’t you like Ali?
Update, 10/11: Sage is building a fixed gear for me today.
Two, three years ago, a black hoodie came to me on the Ultimate fields. No one claimed it for a while, so I just started wearing it and I loved it all the time. Then, one evening last winter, Ali was cold so I gave her the black hoodie to wear. She kept it and confessed that she likes it even more ‘cause it was mine once. I am unutterably touched that something of mine could be a comfort object for her. I understand, though, ‘cause when I go down to see my baby siblings in LA, I almost always sneak a ponytail holder from my baby sister. Ponytail holders are better if she wore them first. Anyway, I bought a new hoodie today, so that Ali and I can be twins this winter. And she is moving in with me. Men, why aren’t you like Ali?
Update, 10/11: Sage is building a fixed gear for me today.
posted by Megan at 2:57 PM
16 Comments:
Ooh, there's all sorts of bike accessorizing to do. My favorite is colored cable housings.
"Men, why aren’t you like Ali?"
Because we're not secure enough to ride around with a pink bike chain?
Also, acting like your twin might be kinda icky in that Luke-and-Leia way. [Which seriously is your answer - friendship is simpler than romance, don't know why]
Men, why aren’t you like Ali?
Because, we have penises, silly.
"Because we're not secure enough to ride around with a pink bike chain?"
Actually, I might know of such a man. There's this totally cute fixie with some pink accessories that I pass on my way through town some days. It is always locked to the same stoop railing and, naturally, I developed a little bike-crush on its imaginary owner. Then one day I saw someone come out of the house and get on the bike and ... the object of my crushing was a slightly overweight, wannabe hipster AND MALE! (More likely, he is her boyfriend, but for the purposes of this post, let's just pretend it's the dude's bike) I should have known--the bike is a little too nice and too new--too 'chalant'--to live up to the awesomeness I'd assigned to its owner in my head. Sigh.
Dude, I got it.
After the next pub quiz you go to when you are outside and it gets a little cold, you notice Professor Plum is a little chilly, and you offer him your hoodie. It'll be so romantic.
Make sure you report back.
Maybe you picked the wrong sexual orientation at birth (or whenever such things are decided)?
Reminds me of one of my favorite My Fair Lady songs, "A Hymn To Hymn":
What in all of Heaven could have prompted her to go
After such a triumph at the ball
What could have depressed her
What could have possessed her
I cannot understand the wretch at all
Women are irrational, that's all there is to that
Their heads are full of cotton, hay and rags
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating
Calculating, agitating, maddening, and infuriating hags
Why can't a woman be more like man
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square
Eternally noble, historically fair
Who when you win will always give your back a pat
Why can't a woman be like that
Why does every one do what the others do
Can't a woman learn to use her head
Why do they do everything their mothers do
Why don't they grow up like their father instead
Why can't a woman take after a man
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please
Whenever you're with them you're always at ease
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
Of course not
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
Nonsense
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
Never!
Well, why can't a woman be like you
One man in a million may shout a bit
Now and then there's one with slight defects
One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit
But by in large we are a marvelous sex
Why can't a woman take after a man
Men are so friendly, good natured and kind
A better companion you never will find
If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow?
Of course not
If I forgot your silly birthday would you fuss?
Nonsense
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
Never!
Why can't a woman be like us
Why can't a woman be more like a man
Men are so decent, such regular chaps
Ready to help you through any mishaps
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum
Why can't a woman be a chum
Why is thinking something women never do
Why is logic never even tried
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside
Why can't a woman behave like a man
If I were a woman who'd been to a ball
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing
Carry on as if my home were in a tree
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going
Why can't a woman be like me?
Alli is mine bitch. I got the pictures to prove it. Tell her I got some panties with her name on them. Just email me the address.
:-P
Or you could just tie up professor plum in your new bike chain and lead him out the door ...
I dated a girl a few years ago, when we were together I'd always steal the little rubber band thing out of her hair. Then I'd wear it on my wrist until the next time I saw her, when I could steal a new one.
I liked her a lot, but she moved away. Oh well.
Justin
I borrowed a few shirts that never got returned for that same reason. It was comforting to have a piece of that person near me when they weren't.
Claudia:
She's moving in with me. Send the panties here, and I'll put them on her room.
I can't get excited over fixed gears, but here's a nice pink one I found via a post on Metafilter:
http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/framebuilders/nycbikes/backfromthespa/
I have to admit it looks pretty sweet.
Ummm,so I couldn't help but notice the '$5' part about the chain. While not necessarily true, a five dollar chain is usually going to be a cheap pice of shit. Not a big deal on a normal bike, but on a fixed gear your chain is your break. If your chain fails while you are going down a hill or while slowing at an intersection you could seriously hurt yourself. Maybe invest in a nice colored wheelset instead? Or colored tires? Flashy handlebar tape?
I don't like colored wheels or tires, and Sage is building my wheels anyway. You must already know that the handlebar tape color is going to match the chain, right?
I don't know the cost of the chain. I told Sage how much to spend and am leaving all decisions to him. Because I hate gear. The aesthetic choices are mine.
That's a great point. Not only is the chain more important because it' your break, but it's more likely to break because of the additional stresses that get placed upon it in braking.
Megan is going to have that front hand brake, right?
Front and back. I have nothing to prove.
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