html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: INTER<b>NETS!!!!!</b>

Sunday, February 25, 2007

INTERNETS!!!!!

WE DID IT! After two years of trying, WE WON THE PORN!

It was SO CLOSE! There was a four-way tie for first place, so the tie-breaker settled the places. One poor team got nothing, and then we were next wrong on the tie-breaker, which means we came in third and WON THE PORN. I might die of happiness. AND IT WAS A TWO-DISK SET! That's right! Babelicious, with fifteen different girls! Seven and a half girls per disk! We brought home one disk and the sleeve, which I will frame and put over my mantle.

I can't stop beaming, but I also feel a new emptiness inside me. Without WINNING THE PORN, I don't know what my goals are. I can't think of another suitable ambition. Even as I bask in the joy of a longtime goal attained, I can't help but feel poignant at the end of a dream I've lived with for so long.

12 Comments:

Blogger Jens Fiederer said...

Congratulations!

The achievement of a major goal ALWAYS feels like a letdown. This is why I procrastinate so badly.

You might try for porn without half-girls. As much as I like porn, half-girls make me kind of squeamish.

11:59 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

Let this be a lesson to everyone that anything is possible if you persistantly follow your dreams.

12:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I can't think of another suitable ambition."

Maybe you could write a book or something...

--mith

5:49 AM  
Blogger fasolamatt said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:32 AM  
Blogger fasolamatt said...

(previous post had link posted wrong)

Jens: half-girls explained here

http://greatbigsea.com/themusic/lyrics/the_mermaid.html

(that's html at the end)

audio snippet here:

http://greatbigsea.com/themusic/audio/thte4.mp3

6:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I can't stop beaming, but I also feel a new emptiness inside me."

As a man with some experience with pornography, I can tell you this feeling is the signal to go to sleep.

6:58 AM  
Blogger billoo said...

Back home we always say: be careful of what you wish for!

If there's only a number of wishes in a life that come true then can't afford to waste them.

10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Nothing except a battle lost can be half as melancholy as a battle won."

-- The Duke of Wellington

12:19 PM  
Blogger Jens Fiederer said...

Fasolamatt, those skilled in the art of courtly love (e.g., Thomas Capellanus) can tell you that there is no way to choose a half that does not invite derision.

5:03 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Congrats on the porn! I hope it provides much masturbatory inspiration for you.

6:31 PM  
Blogger Erik said...

Ignore the emptiness for awhile. Bask in the glory of your achievement. A suitable new challenge will surely present itself eventually. No need to actively search one out just yet.

9:50 PM  
Blogger Zubon said...

The world sings with you.

4:36 PM  

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