html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Typhoid Meggie

Monday, February 27, 2006

Typhoid Meggie

I rarely get sick, so when I do, I like to get something with historical heft. If I have a fever and feel achey, it must be Bubonic Plague. I was getting Spanish Influenza before pandemic fears made it trendy again. Just slightly under the weather, no appetite? Probably consumption, or maybe The Vapours. Now my chest hurts and I can feel a cough setting in. I would usually diagnose Death Cough, but this time I think it is tuberculosis.

No matter what the disease is, there is only one vector: making out. Whenever I hear that two people have the same ailment, I smile and nod my head knowingly; they are so out of the closet now. (What? Oh. Must have been Ali, my "running partner".)

The guy who teaches our conditioning class told us he was getting over the flu. I wasn't thinking, so I confirmed with "No making out, then." He stared, then told me he thought his girlfriend would appreciate that. I laughed and said "Win-win." Except that I didn't say that, because I didn't think of it until twenty minutes later. Now he probably thinks I have a crush on him, which I don't.

So I am home sick, and my throat hurts a lot, and I feel bad about infecting people at the party on Saturday. I hope all the making out was worth it to them.


Blogger Cladeedah said...

It's always been worth it for me, honey.

10:51 PM  
Blogger Sweet Coalminer said...

What's even better is now that you know who you infected, you can see who they made out with next! It's like that commercial - they'll tell 2 people, then they'll tell two people!

Everyone in the world that has a sore throat right now clearly made out with someone at the party, and it all came from you. You must be so proud.

You're so good at blogging! :)

11:56 PM  

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