East Coast/West Coast difference?

I read Fresh Pepper about everyday. The format is reliable; no matter the setting, despite his good intentions, Fresh blurts out something amazingly crass. His commenters are a school of sharks, and the frenzy usually includes the following themes: Fresh hasn’t accepted he is gay, Fresh lives in his parents’ basement, Fresh has a small penis, Fresh’s filthy mind dooms him to a life of celibacy. Fine. Sure. It is pretty funny, and it seems like they enjoy the inside jokes. Just this morning I realized that none of that is the truly surprising thing about Fresh Pepper. Fresh casually, easily, regularly writes about behavior that I can honestly say that I have never seen in real life. Fresh Pepper courts women.

Fresh Pepper writes explicitly about wanting a girlfriend and regular sex. Fresh Pepper writes about failed attempts to pick up girls at bars. When Fresh meets a potential ladyfriend, he asks her out, and then plans a date, and then takes her on a date. He debates the pros and cons of date locations, and whether they will lead to (anal) sex. In an effort to persuade the lady to be his girlfriend (with the regular sex), he brings her flowers, cooks food for her, arranges additional dates and buys her gifts. I have an active fantasy life, but I literally cannot imagine a man doing that. I have never been wooed like that, and I can’t think of a girlfriend who has. I have guy friends who pine for someone, but when I advise thinking of an activity she might like, calling her and asking her to do that, with the subtext that he likes her, they just look baffled.

The only way I have ever met boyfriends is that we were both in the same place doing some other activity while we made eyes at each other. As I think about it, I initiated and arranged five of the last six occasions that had any potential for romance. Hell, I arranged the last hook-up I got. As far as I can tell, men passively do things, hoping women will be present. My beautiful neighbor, super cool girl with a gorgeous body, goes to the local Dive Bar Club, where one guy took some interest in her. He might have her over to watch a movie, but won't stay sober enough to pick her up. My freakin’ fabulous, tall, stunning redhead friend is beside herself with happiness because the boy she likes bought himself a ticket to a concert she was already going to. She is a decade younger than me, and that is as much enthusiasm and motivation as she has ever seen (including an ex-boyfriend who was desperately in love with her). My supermodel girlfriend hung out in her now-husband’s dorm room until he finally gave it up. I’ve seen couples hook up at a party and pairs leave the field together to get a beer and couples meet rock climbing, but date? Where the boy asks the girl? It's a myth.

I know friends who gracefully became lovers, and I know husbands and boyfriends who are wonderful to their beloveds. But in my circle of friends, I don’t know a single story of a man winning a strange woman’s affection by putting effort into courting her. Fresh truly is a freak.