html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: I believe this is what you call "activism".

Friday, January 26, 2007

I believe this is what you call "activism".

Consumer of Baked Goods
Resident of Midtown

Mr. Tim Jordan
Mr. Jason Griest
Old Soul Baking Co.
1716 L St. Rear Alley

January 26th, 2007

Dear Sirs,

I recognized Casey’s muffins as soon as I saw them, and was delighted at their return to Sacramento. Thank you for bringing back one of Sacramento’s most delicious local traditions. Since I remembered them so clearly, and recognized the pumpkin and blueberry bran muffins instantly, you can imagine my profound disappointment when I didn’t see Casey’s apple muffin. Dude! The apple muffins were the best of all of them, with serious chunks of apple. Why, of all the muffins to neglect, did you choose the apple muffin?

Sometimes I imagine that you have reasons for not making the apple muffin. Perhaps you got caught in traffic at Apple Hill, and swore you would never cook with apples again in your life. Maybe the girl you have always loved tripped on an apple, twisting her ankle, and as you cradled her to your chest you decided that you would protect her from such dangerous objects forever. You will have none in your kitchens! Maybe you saw the movie Snow White at an impressionable age, and have forever associated apples with poison and treachery. But whatever your reasons, you must move beyond them! Innocent bystanders are being hurt by your stubbornness; they walk through their empty days, knowing something is missing. It is apple muffins! As long as you hold Casey’s recipes, only you can fix this.

I would also like to call your attention to another matter. On the very rare occasion when I don’t want an apple muffin, I would like a savory baked good. I can’t think of anywhere in Midtown to get a good cheese-y roll, or a spinach-cheese scone, or an onion-mushroom tart. If you made something like that, I would buy it. And have an apple muffin for dessert.

I understand that it will take you some time to perfect your savory baked goods. I will wait in happy anticipation of the day they show up in cafés around town. But I have already been patient on the subject of apple muffins. Please, please, take immediate action to flood this town with tasty apple muffins. I can wait no longer. I should warn you that if I do not see apple muffins soon, my next letter on this subject will be very strongly worded indeed. It might even be regrettably harsh. No one wants that, but only you can prevent it. Good sirs, make amends. And apple muffins.

I thank you for your attention to this matter and look forward to your prompt response.




Blogger Mark said...

If I were to get a letter like this, I would do everything in my power to comply with the writer's wishes.

Short of bake with any of those damn evil apples.

1:43 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Oh, they'll be getting this letter, alright. A paper letter. That's, like, guaranteed results.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Everywhere I see their baked goods, I put in a request with the manager for the apple muffins. I'm trying to make it seem like a groundswell of demand for apple muffins.

I also use Casey's muffins as a means of tracking alliances in the Sacramento Cafe Schism of 2005. I think I've got the allegiances fairly well mapped.

1:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go for it!
Megan, have you read Roth's American Pastoral..the bit about the veggie-anarcho-terrorist? :)

apples, apples...isn't that what led to 'the Fall' of the old soul?

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My kind of activism!

Bring on the baked-goods!

2:28 PM  
Anonymous bryn said...

Awesome letter! I wish more activist missives were like that!

2:32 PM  
Anonymous justus said...

Maybe they decided that since apples aren't native to North America, and certainly aren't in season in Sacramento, it would hypocritical to disrupt local ecosystems and destroy the environment just to satisfy a consumer groundswell for apple muffins?

3:31 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

They were in season a few months ago, when I first asked them to make apple muffins. Apples aren't indigenous, but they sure are local. There are many, many apple growers in the foothills not forty miles away, whose picture on a "Know Your Grower" label would look lovely. It is true that we have moved into citrus, but apples are still in cold storage. I would eat them with a clear conscience, especially from Sept - March.

Nice try, though.

3:54 PM  

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