html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Very different thoughts on Morford's column (1 of 2)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Very different thoughts on Morford's column (1 of 2)

Reading Mark Marford’s column yesterday, I was surprised to see this:

I have to practice sifting out all the women who insist on listing Dave Matthews and/or their five cats as their BFFs on Craigslist or Nerve personals.

WHOAH! Mark Morford is reading CL ads? He’d mentioned becoming single, and he lives in SF and he’s all savvy with Teh Internets, but it never occurred to me that he would be online dating with the rest of us. (Besides! He’s a yoga instructor, and the number one perk of teaching a physical activity is sleeping with your students. And yoga. Yoga. All those lovely, strong women. He’s pretty sharp, so he can’t have failed to notice. Why isn’t he pursuing this very conspicuous avenue?) But he writes it, so I guess I believe that he really is trying the methods that the non-columnist, non-yoga teachers have to use.

Now I want to test that. I don’t have time this second, but I’ve got the pieces of an ad for him rattling around:
Yearning for a columnist

Something something transition

Oh, who am I kidding?! Mark! I want YOU! I need YOU! I have things in my house that haven’t been described as if they were sex toys! I know of Republicans that haven’t been compared to the unpleasant aspects of anal sex! I’ve gone for entire hours without thinking the words “lick”, “slippery” or “divine”. You’re the one who can help me! The only one!

If you’re really reading these ads, Mark, ….


Obviously, it isn’t finished. I’ll work on it (and put it up on CL) later today. I’d feel bad about misusing Craigslist, but I happen to know that this ad:

Seeking Busty Females - 32
________________________________________
Reply to: xxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-23, 12:03PM PDT


I know you ladies don't get enough attention.

But I'm a guy who actually appreciates large, supple knockers.

We should share a soda and see what pops up.

Is the “reject me in fifty words or fewer” guy. If he can use Craigslist for his art, so can I.

8 Comments:

Anonymous justus said...

My guess is that he's tried dating yoga students and realized they're all Fucking Crazy and would like to date someone who is merely within one or two standard deviations of Normal Crazy.

At least, that's been my experience with Yoga Girls. They're the worst possible combination of religious evangelists and health freaks.

9:04 AM  
Anonymous Mitch said...

Wow, "seeking busty women" guy has now posted two ads that are right up your alley. This is clearly a sign of some kind.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Dubin said...

Justus's comment confuses me because, like, ALL girls do yoga nowadays. It's the law.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

eDubin:

Justus lives in evangelist territory. The girls who had the strength to break free and do yoga brought the Fucking Crazy with them, but they've re-directed it.

In big cities, though, you're totally right. It is the law.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Francis said...

completely totally and utterly off topic, what do you know about salinity / selenium problems in the Central Valley? Is a multi-billion dollar brine line to deep ocean discharge the only environmentally reasonable plan?

cheers

(and apologies for acting like a jerk earlier)

Francis

11:14 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

You weren't a jerk, but I'll eventually train the lot of you stop complimenting me.

One of my earlier pieces was on Kesterson. It should come up if you use the search function on the Blogger bar across the top.

11:30 AM  
Anonymous doctorpat said...

I instructed Tae Kwon Do for about 3 years and I only ever got one girl from it (though she was a stunner, sadly it lasted only a few weeks).

Some guys just don't know how to make a transition from friend to date.

I know I didn't have a hope until I went to online sites.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Marcus said...

Dubin, if you put Justus's observation and yours together, there's a clear conclusion to be drawn. But you seem reluctant to draw that conclusion for some reason?

Actually, yoga girls tend to look very centered and happy and glowing, which makes them sexy. But it is true that yoga does draw a disproportionate number of the kind of women (and men...) who will out of nowhere pop out with a comment that makes you doubt her sanity. (actual quote: "Doing inversions lets time run backwards, so you age in reverse!").

Unless I miss my guess, that column by Morford was his personal ad. Nice column, but I kept thinking...well, these are all reasons why love alone can't really be the basis for stuff. It is just a feeling, after all.

1:46 AM  

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