html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Notes:

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


1. Yes, of course I feel guilty and self-indulgent for thinking I have genuine problems in a world where I am fantastically privileged.

2. My sister thinks this was a harder effort for moving during the winter. In the summer, she says, you have all those long evenings, time and energy to get more done. I say, fuck it. If I’m going to be crunching through work and nothing but, might as well be in dreary pointless winter. I know you winter fetishists will say something about cold spicy air and something something season, but this is the type of lie you have to tell yourself to endure the cold and dark days. Fuck winter. Long warm evenings, I say. Sun waking you early and slanting through ‘til late. Finally, finally being hot enough (which I say with dire thoughts about Oakland being never hot enough, although I am openminded and prepared to give it the benefit of the doubt). Being tan, so you can feel some self-worth and attractiveness when you look in the mirror. Better to waste a stupid winter in work, and be free when summer brings you back real light and joy.

3. My trainer made me carry kettleballs recently, just to build strength. I got actual tears in my eyes at the prospect of moving more objects for no reason.

4. It is possible that I was hungry when I contemplated my dreams of next year.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure we've been over this. It doesn't get cold in California, especially in the bay area, or Sacramento.


5:20 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

I'm pretty sure that it is still dark WAY TOO EARLY and it is not hot like it should be, like it is in summer.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous Thelonious_Nick said...

"If I’m going to be crunching through work and nothing but, might as well be in dreary pointless winter."

This is why I got to work even when I'm sick. If I'm going to be sick, I might as well go to work. I avoid infecting coworkers by means of not talking to them and washing my hands frequently.

5:43 AM  
Blogger Erik said...

I'm amused that people in California can still hate winter, but only because I hope someday to be one of them.

7:44 AM  
Anonymous swissarmyd said...

well, I guess the honeymoon at McMurdo Station is off then...

so Megan, I think if you had someone amazingly warm to be with, curled up in a fluffy comeforter with warm spiced wine... and the pinon fire was throwing off heat in the way they do... you might be better disposed to looking out the picture window into the clear night sky. The snow on the ground appears silver and blue on such nights, and they last long enough that you are mildly startled when morning comes... Long warm evenings have nothing to do with the temperature outside.

You should try it sometime... Or maybe even better, you could take your secret journey, and head to Tibet for a year. You might find that we are not lying to ourselves. Or at least we just see it differently.

9:46 AM  
Anonymous doctorpat said...

"If I’m going to be crunching through work and nothing but, might as well be in dreary pointless winter."

That's exactly my reasoning for why I go for a run when I am hungover.

I mean I am going to feel terrible ANYWAY, I may as well spend it doing some running, rather than feel terrible at home in bed, and then feel terrible later when I'm well again, but I ruin it by going for my run.

(Truth to tell, I've given up running as being a stupid waste of time, but I can substitute in a kettle bell workout or something.)

9:11 PM  

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