Thank you, Anand. Thank you, Arvind.

Anand and his brother were supposed to come help me work on the room yesterday. I was so excited! Anand, YAY! Arvind, YAY! It was such a good plan and we were going to get so much done. Except. Before coming over, they stopped to get some stuff. They stopped to get burritos, and we can all agree that the plan is still looking good at this point. BUT THEN! They picked up that arch-villain, Chris. Did you know that Chris does not always contribute to the smooth and efficient functioning of a well-designed plan? No he does not.

I welcomed that agent of chaos into our house. And how does he repay me? HE STOLE MY WORKERS! He lured them! He lured them with MATH! He opened his books and problems and dangled them in front of Anand and Arvind and he said, ‘come here often, big boys?’ They fell, just like he knew they would. I worked outside, alone in the back, painting and painting, alone. It sure was lonely, working back there by myself.

I can’t blame Anand and Arvind. They are only human, and people have needs. When Chris mentioned a sweet little problem that he needed some quick help with, they looked. Once they looked, they started to think about it and then they succumbed. They stopped thinking about anything else, like other people who had asked them for help. I went in to remind them. “Come on, guys. Remember? Remember how I said, can you come up and give me a hand with my room? You said you’d help me? I didn’t say ‘Woo-hoo! Math Party in the living room!!’ ‘Cause that would sound totally different.”

Chris was even worse when they finally came out to help. Chris thought my space heater was inefficient and is it too late to put in a chimney so I can have a woodchip stove? Chris didn’t think that I really need a porch light on a motion detector. He thought a string of lights would be more festive and why don’t we wire it into the other motion detector? He thought we should install a system of large mirrors, reflecting light from the garage door to my room door. I mentioned that we already purchased the porchlight and motion detector and it is hard to sit outside on a warm summer evening reading by a string of Christmas lights. Chris said they would be a big hassle to install. Chris was still distracting my workers.

I said that without a porch light, their princess would be walking to her room in the coldest, darkest, shortest days of the year. I pointed to the unforgiving brick that I would land on when I slipped in the deep black shadows. I hoped I land within reach of the arugula, to give me some sustenance while the rescuers look for me. They kept debating mirrors and Christmas lights. Anand and Chris, it must be said, have some unusual and, quite frankly, revisionist ideas about how robust princesses are.

The whole thing was a debacle. I got some work in and a good burrito. Chris is in Big Trouble. Anand and Arvind are awesome for visiting and being willing to help when they aren’t diverted by schemers who care nothing for my health and safety. I am still a homeless gypsy. I want a little room where I can sleep with my cat.