html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: There are limits.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

There are limits.

Yeah, well, maybe if you had saved it for marriage, you wouldn't have to be breaking into my house at 1:30am to eat cat food. Maybe if you hadn't given it away before you got a ring, or even a name from him, you wouldn't have to come in through the window, knocking things over, messing up my kitchen. I just know you are knocked up again. Didn't you learn anything from raising three kits by yourself last summer?

It's not that they weren't cute. They were adorable when I caught glimpses of them scurrying away. They were not so adorable when you brought them to my window ledge to growl at me! What's with that? You should be teaching them respect! I live here! I buy the cat food. Why would you ruin your chances with me by sneaking into my house and then growling?

I am not naturally hard-hearted. The last time a teenage mother showed up on my block, I took her in. She still lives with me. That's whose cat food you are eating. But I don't think the two of us are going to come to an arrangement like that. You have scary-ass claws, and although you are deceptively cute with your mask and ringtail, I know you are smarter than me and afraid of nothing.

I think there is room for compromise. I thought it was great when you ate all the maggots out of my compost pile. You are welcome to any kitchen scraps I put out there. Better you than an opossum. But don't come in my house. You can't have the cat food. And don't growl at me.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't you have a cat? Shouldn't your cat be defending your house, keeping the raccoons out? I think you need to sit the cat down and have a talk about his responsibilities around the house.

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Thelonious_Nick said...

As I know you're a vegetarian, I'm trying to imagine what you would put in your compost that would bring maggots. I've had a compost pile for years without that problem. Maybe some kind of grease? Anyway, you should avoid putting all meat products and related greases in the compost--you don't want the worms getting a taste for flesh.

4:51 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

It isn't really a compost pile. I never turn it, or add greens or browns. Really, it is just a way to keep my kitchen scraps from the landfill. And a raccoon feeding station, now that they know how to take the lid off.

7:42 AM  

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