html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Real life applications.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Real life applications.

On Sunday, I was driving just south of Sac City College when two big guys with two big dogs crossed in front of me. That put me in the perfect position to see when the little yappy dog ran out of the house on the left and charged straight up to the bigger dog. The bigger dog took one look, chomped down on the yappy dog and lifted it into the air. Now I saw that the two big dogs were huge pit bulls, and I thought for sure that this story was going to end poorly. The man holding the leash of the big pit bull spent about a second tugging on the leash and telling his dog to release the yapper before calmly reaching behind his dog to give the dog’s scrote a solid squeeze. The pit bull yelped, released the yappy dog, and the big men and dogs walked on.

Holy shit! I read about that once! I don’t remember where, but I remember reading that you can break a two-by-four over a pit bull’s back and it won’t release, and hosing the dog in the face doesn’t work either. But you can surprise a pit bull into releasing its grab by squeezing its testicles. (Chris tells me that another variation making the rounds in his old bad neighborhood, where pit bulls regularly ran free, is to shove a spoon up its ass. Oh.) I just never expected to see it live.

And that reminded me of another thing I never expected to see. My team boyfriend was telling me about a friend’s divorce. According to my team boyfriend, his friend knew her marriage was over when her husband stopped making her side of the bed. That’s right. He had always made the bed, but when things went wrong, he stopped making her side. The thought almost made me cry. It’s so harsh. Not making half the bed is just zero for two. You don’t get the neatly made bed you must have wanted AND you rejected the partnership with your honey. The symbolism of the marriage bed makes it all the worse.

I thought that must have been a quirk of that marriage, but I saw the half-made bed in real life too. I was at a friend’s cabin and had noticed twenty minutes into the weekend that they were going through rough times. When I passed by their room on the way to the bathroom, I looked through the open door and saw half the bed was made. My eyes got really big and I pulled the door closed and kept my mouth shut.


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