html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: other than that lets just hang out

Thursday, May 31, 2007

other than that lets just hang out

I have to say, it was a fine morning in the Sacramento Craigslist ads.

These two are back to back, and I wondered if they were the same person:
Rich Farmer Seeks Special Lady - 59
Reply to: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-31, 8:08AM PDT


I have a beautiful farm in the middle of the California Delta. It is an absolute paradise. I live here alone with my Kitty Tahoe Toy and Reno, and my Worthless doggie, my show chickens, one Barbados Ram, and a peacock. I'm seeking a very special lady who wants to just have some fun and not have to deal with any of the normal BS a "modern man" has to offer. I am world famous. I recently retired as a recording artist in Nashville, and I have web sites on me all over the Net. I am an open book, so I am not ashamed to share pics, nor am I afraid to tell you my story. I'm a world-class chef. What I think would be fun would be for you to join me at my magnificent home and let me cook you a 4-Star meal! I have not posted a pic, but I assure you, I am very good to look at! Contact me if you have the courage, class and style!

* Location: Isleton
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


Older Man Wants Younger Woman Friend - 101
Reply to: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-31, 8:04AM PDT


I am an extremely successful and wealthy man, and I have been a bachelor longer than you have been alive, perhaps. (If you are under 30!) I live on a huge piece of property outside of the city, and it is a Paradise. I'm not into the "Kinky" thingie! I appreciate a woman for her beauty and talent. It's just that at my age, it is difficult to find a woman who is younger on the typical dating services. I am an extremely knowledgeable man, world traveler, food expert, wine expert, musician, sportsman, retired businessman, and Northern California born and bred. If you would like to meet me and have the time of your life, be treated like a Million Bucks, and perhaps become a real friend to me, and me to you, then take the chance. This is a first time experience for me on this list, so nothing ventured, nothing gained. OH, btw, I am in perfect physical condition, not a damn thing wrong with me.

* Location: Northern California
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


Don't they sound like the set up for a romance novel?
She read and re-read the ad. It sounded too good to be true. She'd made her way in the city, but inside, she knew she was a country girl, with lots of love to give to the right man and his pets. So perfect! Wealthy! A chef! A musician! World traveled! Not kinky! The mouse trembled slightly in her hand, but she resolutely moved the arrow over to Reply To, and clicked.


And then, I totally want the second guy to be 101! A hundred and one! And looking for chicks on Craigslist. He was born in 1906! Wow. He just missed both World Wars. And not a damn thing wrong with him!

This guy, however, confesses to being "a little hurt":
In Shape Nice Looking White Male and Very Honest and a Little Hurt - 41
Reply to: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-31, 9:01AM PDT

Hello just want to connect now or a little later but I just want to hold and kiss a woman and be with you to just talk about life and if we click hold each other and make each other feel good I just want a REAL CONNECTION is anyone out there want the same its not all about sex but if it happen fine I'd really love to go down on you if you would like me too but other then that lets just hang out and see how it goes.

* Location: Sac
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


We're all a little hurt, my friend. And it isn't like I can criticize anyone for run-on sentences, which are, like, my oeuvre. But, um, we were just going along, all sincere and open and BAM!! How did we get to oral sex already? Good to put your preferences out there, and I hope you find a REAL CONNECTION with someone with the same priorities. But your ad cracked me up.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My granddad just missed both world wars like that. Too young for the first, too old for the 2nd.

Justin

11:03 AM  
Blogger Jacqueline Passey said...

This is sooooooooooooooooo much better than the water engineering stuff. Keep it up!

1:07 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

But see, if I do the dating blogging for a stretch, I get polite requests for more substantive work from the other folks.

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Peter said...

Something tells me the man who placed the second ad got the age thing wrong.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

101 is unlikely. But, I was almost willing to believe it, mostly from his phrasing, but also because he said he'd been a bachelor for more than 30 years. I like the story better if he is 101, anyway.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Peter said...

101 is unlikely. But, I was almost willing to believe it, mostly from his phrasing, but also because he said he'd been a bachelor for more than 30 years.

Well heck, I got married (time no. 1) at age 31, so you could say that *I* was a bachelor for more than 30 years :)

5:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Water expert,
What do you think about this claim that droughts are overstated?

http://www.usatoday.com/weather/climate/globalwarming/2007-05-31-climate-study_N.htm

5:29 AM  
Anonymous Müig said...

Heh... You couldn't help but correct the quote ("then" -> "than")...

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Armsmasher said...

I tried to pin the artist by the ad and the only name I could come up with was Warren Zevon. California boy (right?), Nashville experience, the superfluous "damn". Alas, if only Zevon were still here, I'd cuddle up with him myself.

1:50 PM  

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