Both sides.
I was all insecure and jealous yesterday and I hate that crap. I hate that I make up huge involved stories, based on the slightest evidence. I hate that I can't stop. I hate that this is the stuff that runs through my mind. I know a relationship isn't a cure-all, but I was in relationships for years, and while I was? I really wasn't hung up on speculation about strangers. If I wanted to find out what HE was up to, I called and talked to him. And he was happy to hear from me. Or, if I did get jealous, at least I had some right! I resent all the processing time I spend on being single and hurt. I hate that my problems are small, petty problems. I want them solved so I can move on to more worthy problems.
*******
I was out with a friend of mine the other day and a woman walked by. He gave a small wave and she gave a small wave. He'd broken up with her; she was still hoping to get back with him. I think she thought I was the next girl. I wanted to tell her I wasn't. Oh no honey, don't look at me and wonder why. I didn't do anything better; I'm not so cute; I'm not funnier. Don't imagine anything, sugar. I'm getting on my bike after this and riding straight home. Don't do that to you. Not tonight. He may date someone else and you may see them at the movies. If you do, you'll have to suck it up then. But tonight you'll just be hurting yourself and there is no cause. Beside, you have beautiful hair and you look like a neat girl and I bet we'd be friends if we met another way. So don't take on grief 'cause of where I'm sitting. I'm sorry, hon. I'm usually you.
*******
I was out with a friend of mine the other day and a woman walked by. He gave a small wave and she gave a small wave. He'd broken up with her; she was still hoping to get back with him. I think she thought I was the next girl. I wanted to tell her I wasn't. Oh no honey, don't look at me and wonder why. I didn't do anything better; I'm not so cute; I'm not funnier. Don't imagine anything, sugar. I'm getting on my bike after this and riding straight home. Don't do that to you. Not tonight. He may date someone else and you may see them at the movies. If you do, you'll have to suck it up then. But tonight you'll just be hurting yourself and there is no cause. Beside, you have beautiful hair and you look like a neat girl and I bet we'd be friends if we met another way. So don't take on grief 'cause of where I'm sitting. I'm sorry, hon. I'm usually you.
posted by Megan at 9:06 AM
8 Comments:
A beautiful example of life being all about stories. I know it's all made up, including the part about me being the good guy, but the emotional reaction to those stories is quite real. Fortunately, seeing that everything is a story, one can begin to choose their stories. Like I'm always telling my wife's cat how cute she is when she hisses at me and attacks my feet. Some might call her a vicious, conniving little cat-monster. I choose to think of her as a rambunctious, over-smart furball. Though I wouldn't want to meet her in that hell they create for animals to poke and grab their owner's miniature boyfriend/husband saying, "He's so cute! Come give a big, big hug! What, you don't like getting rubbed and petted within an inch of your life? Aww, he's so cute. I could just eat him up!"
I don't get why women blame other women. I think it's something I'm out of, because of homeschooling. Or maybe because of my ego. But there is absolutely nothing ever to be gained from competing with the girl. Hate the guy for dumping you. Maybe dig up some flaws in her to indicate that he has bad taste. But try to be her friend and ally, whenever possible.
Oh, and I especially hate it when guys encourage cat fighting, or try to complain about it as a way of fostering it. Ick.
I'm with you, Diz. Except for my ex-best-friend, whom I think broke her loyalty to me, I'm not looking at other women as the problem. (Course, except for my seven-year ex-boyfriend, I don't often blame men, either.) Odds are good that she's a bystander, like I happened to be the other night, and the jealously is completely misplaced, or that she's just doing what I would do if I happened to meet a neat guy and didn't know that someone still had feelings for him.
Oh. And I never compete. I know that dignity is a hopeless cause for me, and that I don't have time to dither around, but I never compete with someone for a guy. Party jockey-ing for someone's attention? Oh no no no. He recognizes that I'm fucking awesome and wants that or he doesn't. Turn your attention to the simpering girl and I am gone. You can find me in the crowd of people laughing really hard.
Ooh, I had one of those best friends too. Ouch. And yeah. I'm with you on the "don't compete for attention..."
Why I read this blog.
Almost cried.
Not that there's anything wrong with irrigation and stuff....
19 (Ok, maybe 18) times out of 20 I am all about the non-compete clause, but then there's those evenings when I'm feeling lonely, and she's super-interesting. And maybe if I hang around long enough she'll see that I've got cool stuff to say...
So I try not to get annoyed at people who simper, I know how easy it is to fall into that trap.
Dayum... So much truth.
Wandered by from Sheila's and really looking forward to reading more.
Paul
I loved this post the first time I read it, and again.
Post a Comment
<< Home