html xmlns="" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> From the archives: Hey buddy. How come you're doing this?

Friday, November 30, 2007

Hey buddy. How come you're doing this?

I can't be the only person who daydreams about being the calm and collected person who says all the right things to talk the hostage-taker down and defuse the whole situation without anyone getting hurt.


Blogger Megan said...

Sometimes, for variety, I evacuate the burning theater or land the 747 after the pilots collapse.

1:18 PM  
Blogger Fake Name said...

I dream about being guy the suicidal jumper lands on.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Erik said...

When I day dream about defusing a hostage situation it usually involves guns and/or kung fu. I don't know if this is because I am a boy, or because I watch too many action movies.

1:38 PM  
Blogger Lora said...

When I was a kid (maybe starting when I was 7?), I used to fantasize at night about someone breaking into our house. He'd be rustling through my closet (obviously, my imaginary thief was not a silent and seasoned pro) and I would wake up and ask, in that wide-eyed and innocently sweet way that children stereotypically can be: "What are you doing?"

The details following this point were fuzzy, except for the ending part-- after a deep conversation with me, the weapon-possessing thief would renounce his criminal lifestyle and reform.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Good work, Lora.

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Mitch said...

You could tell the hostage taker, "You are so angry. Why do you have such anger in you?"


My daydreams usually involve me inventing some kind of anti-gravity device. Then I try to come up with the coolest public transportation system I can imagine. It's a hard problem! Even if you could violate the conservation of energy.

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Ennis said...

Why wouldn't you send your llama in to kick the hostage taker's butt?

10:19 AM  
Anonymous freight train said...

Oh yes. When I imagine this, it's generally based on my locking eyes with the hostage-taker, and through the sheer power of communicating our soul-to-soul humanity, communicating that it can still be okay, share your burden with me, causing him to drop his gun and fall to his knees weeping in relief. I'm not sure if that's how things actually work out in most hostage situations though.

12:58 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

That's because no one has taken you hostage yet. If it were you, Freight Train, that's how it would work.

1:23 PM  
Anonymous -K. said...

On a similar, equally sincere note, I hope this catalyzes some sort of discussion about the funding of mental health care. I'm not much of a single-payer type, but this seems to be a genuine case for state intervention. -K.

12:19 PM  

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