"He did NOT! What did you say?!"

It sucked this past December, when I finally had to admit that he wasn’t just acting like he wasn’t interested in me. When I got home, I especially wanted to talk it over with an old friend. She’s a sweet good person, so I knew she would do all of the following things:

listen to my story as if it were interesting
laugh at me for being ridiculous
tell me about the time she did the exact same thing
find compassionate motives for everyone involved, while
saying that he made the mistake of his life.

We see eye to eye on most things, so I wasn’t surprised that we agreed on the moral of the story. “You know,” she said gently, “we all play every role at some point.” I laughed and laughed, because I had just thought exactly that. Only I said it as “Everyone’s bitch to someone.”

Grrrl power!

I wrote to my pretty friend as soon as I heard that a longtime crush would be bringing his new girl to an event I was arranging.


Megan:
HATE being gracious. I'll just have to be smiley and nice. I HATE that.

Pretty Friend:
I know!
I totally hear you!
I can be mean and nasty for you, if you want...*

Megan: No, no. Let's just be fake and pleasant to her face, and then really mean behind her back. I like to do it that way, because when I have other people to make fun of, I feel better about myself. Also, it’s nice to have a group of girlfriends who will tear other women down, instead of supporting the sisterhood.

Pretty Friend: I meant to him! But I'm totally good at pulling hair too, if you want me to go after her!

Megan: Sweet. We could take her. And remember? We only blame other women, not men, who are sweet and naïve and can't be held responsible for their choices.

Pretty Friend: You should be chair of the women's studies program in Berkeley!! Those bitches over there don't know what they're talking about!



Fortunately, the event was rained out. I didn’t have to be classy after all.

*This was a lie. She couldn’t really be mean and nasty to anyone.